Jack Benny Said

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

Gags die, humor doesn't.
Jack Benny

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful woman - and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air.
Jack Benny

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Jack Benny

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
Jack Benny

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Jack Benny

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.
Jack Benny

Modesty is my best quality.
Jack Benny

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny