A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.
Jerry Lewis
Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.
Jerry Lewis
I am probably the most selfish man you will ever meet in your life. No one gets the satisfaction or the joy that I get out of seeing kids realize there is hope.
Jerry Lewis
I get paid for what most kids get punished for.
Jerry Lewis
I've had great success being a total idiot.
Jerry Lewis
People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.
Jerry Lewis
Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!
Jerry Lewis
The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television and you're going to have very, very fine, natural children.
Jerry Lewis
We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or couldn't get better jobs in the first place.
Jerry Lewis
When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.
Jerry Lewis
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