Lemonade & Other Tales

image borrowed from bing

Lemonade & Other Tales

W.C. Fields kept his best booze
in a container he couldn't lose,
a thermos of "lemonade"
to avoid a police raid,
as bourbon from his pores would ooze.

* * * *

Never trust a woman with warts,
especially on tennis courts,
for your eyes will be glued
and soon you'll be boo-ed
by your sarcastic co-horts.

* * * *

My car is a piece of crap,
too nasty to even scrap;
it has no actual doors,
and I have to use oars
to move it along the map.

* * * *

Big Bob had a 10 foot dick,
and he'd flash it for every chick
as he passed them by,
until he couldn't deny
incarceration for "flicking his Bick".

* * * *

Little Eva liked that gravy
on tatters and guys in the Navy,
and she was so sweet,
they'd give her a treat,
making their hair very wavy.

* * * *

I always loved old Dick Tracy
played by William C. Macy;
his jaw was so square,
and he'd always dare
you to wear boxers very lacy.


Glenn Buttkus

March 2012

Listed as #9 over at dVerse Poets-FFA

Would you like to hear the author laugh his way through these?