Litany for Limericks

painting by ken corbett

Litany for Limericks

I know a woman from Tacoma
who has a lovely stoma;
smoked four packs a day
before her voice went away,
and now she’s in a coma.

* * *

I had an old bitch with fleas
who loved to climb short trees;
dogs really can do that,
mine wears a red hat
and has two broken knees.

* * *

George Custer was a puny man,
who never was a real fan
of Sitting Bull’s dances
or his own actual chances
of ever visiting Iran.

* * *

Dreaming of being a movie star
but stuck drunk in a local bar,
the ladies you meet,
the agents you greet,
makes you dash for the car.

* * *

I could run like the wind,
always first at the end
of those hometown races--
now just a hundred paces,
my knees refuse to bend.

* * *

All pretty women pass me by
which certainly makes me cry;
perhaps I should bathe more,
or find me a willing whore,
and get her to say, “My, oh My.”


Glenn Buttkus

March 2012

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