image by Neal Adams, in DC Deadman #5
Fair Dinkum
“Life is fair. We all get the same nine month shake
in the box, & then the dice roll.”--Stephen King.
me: I say it is a fair day to talk to no one.
deadman: Not fair, sir, for I am, or was, or will be someone.
me: Are you saying that the winds are truly fair for a wet
journey of wistful words?
deadman: A cheater never wins; now that is cosmic fair.
me: That’s a fair cop, as my Guinness mates would say.
deadman: In Old English, it be “Faeger”,
me: In Norwegian it was “Vakker”.
deadman: Pleasing, attractive, sexy?
me: No, beautiful, stunning, alluring, with fair hair & complexion.
deadman: I think that it would be fair to say I knew the slut.
me: Now, play fair; rancor is beyond the realm of fairness.
deadman: In Old French it was surely “Feire”.
me: In ancient Rome twas once “Feria”.
deadman: Fairly said, fair enough for government speak--yes
your piddling research resides fair-to-middling,
me: Are you disrespecting my fair name?
deadman: I think that sometimes it is only fair to take a fucking
without a furious fuss.
me: Do you fuck me, sir?
deadman: Buttkus it be, is it Germanic?
me: Now you would take a foul ball & call it fair?
deadman: It is said of you that you’ve raised three fair daughters.
me: So we digress, yes, & I say to you that it required
a fair amount of patience, being a stepfather.
deadman: In all fairness I inquire, did your lovelies ever conspire
to rid their lives of you for fair?
me: Fairly crass I wager, therefore none of your affair.
deadman: It was you, young sir, that started this dialogue,
not me--so fair’s fair.
me: Says you, a mere geek at the Fair, says nobody.
deadman: I do fear that you drag my fair will throw the small
hole in an oaken fair-lead.
me: Surely, you are not so deluded as to consider yourself
fair-minded?
deadman: Only on Thursdays at high noon in the Shetlands
while in a pub on Fair Isle.
me: Your ragged response cuts me like a short jab caught
fair in my gut.
deadman: My death certificate allows me license to consider
such as you fair game.
me: And so Jehovah said in Gaza to the Israelites, play
fair my children.
deadman: Your biblical reference conjures fair resentment.
me: You drive my balls to the fairway then?
deadman: Why not, tis fair green not a bramble bush.
me: I tell you, your jibes pass over my flesh fairing like a soft
breeze; barely registering contact.
deadman: Do you admit then that this fair exchange of views
& barbed verbiage lies well with you?
me: Only on Thursdays at 3 a.m. at the fairgrounds in Fairbanks.
deadman: Do you really consider this fair play?
me: Are you are fetching member of the fair sex?
deadman: I must say that you do have a fair edge to your
acerbic wit, sir.
me: A fair catch, boyo. I will leave it at that, your point.
deadman: Then you wish to be rid of me for fair.
me: Not really, I am just anxious to attend the Washington
State Fair. I adore the pig races & the fat elephant ears
dripping with cinnamon & hot butter.
deadman: Is it a fair assumption to consider that we may
converse again on another day?
me: Yes, tis fair to say, to consider, to relish, to look forward to.
deadman: Excellent--that makes me fairly pleased to hear it.
me: Good, then it is fairly glad I be as I take my leave.
deadman: Fair farewell.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over on dVerse Poets MTB
Would you like to hear the author read this Fair Poem to you?
elephant ears with cinnamon and hot butter...hmmmmm....
ReplyDeleteand wow... you've used that word in so many different ways that for me as a non-native english speaker i was just sitting there with an open mouth...and learned a lot.. cool on weaving in the old english and norwegian as well
A wonderful conversation.. I admire your venture into our Nordic languages.. fager in Swedish is fair.. a fair maiden is en fager mö (but it's slightly archaic).. I think you have explored a lot of meanings of fairs here..
ReplyDeleteIt was Brian who became my Muse today, propelling me into full tilt Deadman vibe; creating a better deadman poem than ever before, but jumping on FAIR for the 10 second ride; what fun indeed!
ReplyDeletehehe...you had fun didn't you...and I totally expected you to go the FAIR PLAY route with the comic book connection....but you deadman'd it....
ReplyDeleteoh man elephant ears have a great bit of memories behind them for me...boy you went all kinds of fair on us as well...lol...
nice approach conversational styles as well...love this much many....
A more than fair amount of wit mused with the whole dictionary load of meanings caught in the quarrel of dialogue - with death and life and global associations. A brilliant piece of work, Glenn. I am more than validated again with my choice of prompt - worried as I was if it would fly. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteyou certainly used "fair" a fair amount of times :-) Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteWhat a clever dialogue/verse!
ReplyDeleteI'm in awe of your repertoire, sir, and find this piece particularly far-reaching in your study of the word "fair":..more than a dictionary or thesaurus, but a wikopedia if you will, of not just the word, but of the entire divergent meanings based therein and in the rafters of our minds.
ReplyDeleteQuite a groovy conversation you and Deadman had over the word fair. Enjoyed hearing you read it.
ReplyDeletethat was quite the conversation so much to ponder and I was amazed as all the fairness..always interesting here Glenn ;)
ReplyDeleteYour conversation has me coming and going, Glenn. I think it might be an English teacher's delight! Smiles. This deadman certainly does get around!
ReplyDeleteInteresting linguistic riffs there - I don't even care if they are valid or not, they sound so plausible and are so witty!
ReplyDeleteYou are such a master of dialogue - I love this conversation with the Deadman (yes, I guessed that might have been inspired by Brian...)
Ooopsie, that unknown commentator was actually me, I got overexcited and pressed the button too quickly!
ReplyDeleteGreat combo. of the two prompts. Dialogues of a mind that always
ReplyDeletehas the on switch to high. Well written and inspirational in a strange elegy way.
what a write!!!..i lack appropriate words to appreciate this mind blowing piece properly...awesome!!!
ReplyDeletea fair orgy :)
ReplyDeleteDon't think I could have managed to use the word in so many different ways. :) Eagerly read it twice.
ReplyDeletefair or foul - this is a highly entertaining conversation - deadman is quite the wit!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! I love the dialogue and the many uses of fair. And indeed we'll all meet the deadman someday. Meantime, he's fun to talk to.
ReplyDelete