Thursday, October 11, 2012

Broken Chains



image borrowed from bing


Broken Chains

Antoninus: "Are you afraid to die, Spartacus?"
Spartacus: "No more than I was to be born."

1.

Soldier’s Milwr

The third Servile War scared Rome,
small cadres of slaves did roam;
freedom rose up from the gloam.

Becoming thousands they beat
patrols, legions, Rome’s elite,
standing to fight, not retreat. 

Slaves don’t fear death because they
know their pain will become cay,
forged from broken chains that day.

2.

Proest Dalgron

Maybe there is no peace in
this world, for us, or anyone,
it’s hard to tell who will win
remaining true to ourselves.

Spartacus, born to lead, had
to die, both things destiny;
multitudes became very sad
as hope expired on a cross.

Crassus helped change his Rome
from Republic to Empire,
filling lexicons of tome
with dreams of dictatorship.


Glenn Buttkus

October 2012


Posted over on dVerse Poets FFA

Would you like to hear the author read these Englyns to you?


11 comments:

Laurie Kolp said...

I'm impressed, Glenn (as always).

Beachanny said...

Admire you for taking these two types on and making each into major statements so effectively. I think I'm a little new at this to critically evaluate them. Seems like a lot goes into the endings. Also evaluating dipthongs is pretty new to me as well. I'll re-read after Sue comes by. I would like to read her comments and learn from them! But for me..good job. I didn't find this easy.

anotherwanderingsoul said...

epic.in every sense.

Sue Judd said...

This is an epic poem...I love the way you used two forms in this to add to the impact. You nailed the milwr. I have to confess to struggling myself with the Proest Dalgron, so wouldn't be the best critic....( the way I pronounced it, I got lost on the syllable count), but hey, it read brilliantly. nice one.

Brian Miller said...

see i knew you would find a way to work this one well....very cool and i like how you play as well within the form or between the variations....i like the second one better...i think you worked it a bit more and away from just hte end rhymes as well....cool man...

Pam Rosep said...

The second one is awesome. I'm well amazed. Mine's not up yet. OH! This is such good writing. :)

marousia said...

Wow! I like the way you played with the form ... I prefer the second too

festivalking said...

After reading this I just want to take my post down! Totally awesome writing here sir :)

manicddaily said...

Pretty cool - great subject matter -poems have a kind of stately cadence. k.

Kim Nelson said...

A bit of history presented in strict form. Your first stanza could easily stand alone. Skillful write.

http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/10/11/mourning-in-blue/

Sabio Lantz said...

"No more than I was to be born."
A great reply!
Fun military stuff.

"cay" ? -- had to look that up -- a little island. I thought it was going to be clay.