Oh Lord, in the midwest today
has dawned birthed in blood
and has now moved past
the delicate oranges and yellows
and transitioned into a sky
of perfect electric blue,
around the delicate swan neck
of a brilliant Indian Summer,
as the throngs and masses
move and converge
Woodstock style over to
Kincaid's farm for the
behemoth ball at
The state police are directing
traffic, and the national guard
are keeping order, for the Rumors
are as thick in the air
as a biblical plague of locusts,
and the guests are agog,
tingling with anticipation,
for it is believed that our very own
President Barack Obama, will land
here for lunch in his Chinook
White House chopper, and then he
and Michelle will lead off
the first waltz; damn what
an event, and of course the
media vans are thick as fleas
on old Shep as the entire planet
watches CNN, Fox News, and
Entertainment Tonight coverage
of the arrival of celebrities,
for there are ten red carpets,
and one perfectly white one
where Miss Willow will make
her grand entrance in her
virgin white gown.
This event, a well kept Midwestern
secret the first two years
has gone global this time,
and millions will drool and clap
and some may even pass out
with the excitement, the glitz,
and glamour, and audacity,
for it is clearly remarkable
that the Willow Manor guest list
recognizes no parameters, no limits,
and Time itself will ride the Past
bareback across the lawn, yawning
wide to open its maw allowing
hundreds of portals to pop open
and give a access to all the
celebrities of the past and present
to pour forth, resplendent,
and eager to party.
I arrived in time for breakfast in my pearl
white Hummer stretch limo, and stepped out
onto a red carpet with the lovely
Carrie-Anne Moss on my arm, and she
shocked the folks by wearing her
skin-tight MATRIX outfit, with short
bobbed hair and those sunglasses.
As promised, I am wearing the
George Armstrong Custer inspired
white leather tuxedo, soft deerskin
with long black fringes across my back,
carrying a cavalry sword for effect,
to be checked with my 7th Cavalry cape,
and Cyrano white-plumed hat. I also will
check my spurs, but my knee high black
leather boots will be fun to dance in.
is in the house,
in the Manor,
and in the swing of things.
Alan Rickman helped organize a HAMLET corner at the Ball, where actors who have portrayed the dark brooding prince got to do monologues and answer questions, kind of a meet and greet Hamlet event.
Mel Gibson remains one of my favorite more natural Hamlets.
knows how to throw a party!
And here he is, Harvey Keitel, Willow's favorite duelist.
Billy and Elton love to play together; another great coup for Miss Willow!
Joni got things rolling in the dueling pianos over in the library, and she loved doing a duet with Victor Borge.
Always a fun pair, Goldie and Kurt attended the Willow Ball too.
Demi and Ashton looked Divine. I wonder why she slapped him?
Brad and Angelina were a gorgeous couple, and everything went well until Angie started sucking face with Clive Owen.
My goodness, Helen Mirren, is that what you were wearing under that smashing red ball gown?