Attending the Third Annual Willow Ball

The THIRD ANNUAL WILLOW BALL

Thursday, September 30, 2010.
Oh Lord, in the midwest today
has dawned birthed in blood
and has now moved past
the delicate oranges and yellows
and transitioned into a sky
of perfect electric blue,
around the delicate swan neck
of a brilliant Indian Summer,
as the throngs and masses
move and converge
Woodstock style over to
Kincaid's farm for the
behemoth ball at
Willow Manor!!!!!
The state police are directing
traffic, and the national guard
are keeping order, for the Rumors
are as thick in the air
as a biblical plague of locusts,
and the guests are agog,
tingling with anticipation,
for it is believed that our very own
President Barack Obama, will land
here for lunch in his Chinook
White House chopper, and then he
and Michelle will lead off
the first waltz; damn what
an event, and of course the
media vans are thick as fleas
on old Shep as the entire planet
watches CNN, Fox News, and
Entertainment Tonight coverage
of the arrival of celebrities,
for there are ten red carpets,
and one perfectly white one
where Miss Willow will make
her grand entrance in her
virgin white gown.
This event, a well kept Midwestern
secret the first two years
has gone global this time,
and millions will drool and clap
and some may even pass out
with the excitement, the glitz,
and glamour, and audacity,
for it is clearly remarkable
that the Willow Manor guest list
recognizes no parameters, no limits,
and Time itself will ride the Past
bareback across the lawn, yawning
wide to open its maw allowing
hundreds of portals to pop open
and give a access to all the
celebrities of the past and present
to pour forth, resplendent,
and eager to party.

I arrived in time for breakfast in my pearl
white Hummer stretch limo, and stepped out
onto a red carpet with the lovely
Carrie-Anne Moss on my arm, and she
shocked the folks by wearing her
skin-tight MATRIX outfit, with short
bobbed hair and those sunglasses.
As promised, I am wearing the
George Armstrong Custer inspired
white leather tuxedo, soft deerskin
with long black fringes across my back,
carrying a cavalry sword for effect,
to be checked with my 7th Cavalry cape,
and Cyrano white-plumed hat. I also will
check my spurs, but my knee high black
leather boots will be fun to dance in.

Glenn Buttkus
is in the house,
in the Manor,
and in the swing of things.

Doesn't Carrie-Anne look smashing? Willow's guests are still agog.

She is spending way too much time smoozing with Alan Rickman and Sigourney Weaver, and I have had difficulty in keeping her from competing in the fencing, western fast draw contests, and even the arm wrestling competitions.

What a gorgeous date I managed for the Ball this year, don't you think?

Here's my inspiration for my Tux, and the dueling contest out in Willow Manor garden.

Another view of my tuxedo inspiration.

Marty Scorsese and I had some spirited film discussions over several Last Word cocktails by firelight.

Alan Rickman helped organize a HAMLET corner at the Ball, where actors who have portrayed the dark brooding prince got to do monologues and answer questions, kind of a meet and greet Hamlet event.

Mel Gibson remains one of my favorite more natural Hamlets.

David Tennant was a surprise guest, and his latest Hamlet is dazzling, supported by Patrick Stewart, who showed up too, dressed as Captain Pecard.

What a joy to hear John Gielgud reciting the Bard.

Kenneth Branagh gave us the almost uncut version of Hamlet, and many stayed awake for the whole thing!

Mel took his turn at the graveside.

Larry Olivier got a huge applause after his recitation.

Kenny gets intense.

Another surprise guest, Jude Law, reminded us that he did Hamlet on Broadway recently.

Now the discussion corner gets heated up, with Gielgud and Branagh, and another fine Hamlet, Derek Jacobi.

Yorik certainly got a workout at the Ball!

And to think that Branagh is such a good dancer too; gosh, will wonders never cease here at the Willow Ball?

Nicol Williamson reminded us that he had some face time with Yorik as well.

yeah, sure, Jude, you were cool in the part too.

Yes, Richard Burton--now that's what I talking about!

Alas dear Yorik, so many kisses on these cold lips tonight. Miss Willow really
knows how to throw a party!

Patrick Stewart surprised Miss Willow with a passionate tango.

Ah Sean, nobody wears one better!

And here he is, Harvey Keitel, Willow's favorite duelist.

Billy and Elton love to play together; another great coup for Miss Willow!

Joni got things rolling in the dueling pianos over in the library, and she loved doing a duet with Victor Borge.

Always a fun pair, Goldie and Kurt attended the Willow Ball too.

Demi and Ashton looked Divine. I wonder why she slapped him?

Brad and Angelina were a gorgeous couple, and everything went well until Angie started sucking face with Clive Owen.

My goodness, Helen Mirren, is that what you were wearing under that smashing red ball gown?