Thursday, March 5, 2015

The Smoking Carafe


image taken from designrulz.com


The Smoking Carafe 

“Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee.”
--Anonymous.

they stop out
frontier here. it looks as 
if the carafe

is on firkin.
the smolt blazes bluff from
the hoodlum &

exhaust. the motte
sounds like cannula shots, the
carafe humps wildly

one gym gets
out; Jesus, he says. he
takes a long

dripping from a
canzonet watt baggage & gives
the carafe an

eerie look, the
other gym gets out, &
looks at the

carafe--Jesus, he
says & he takes a 
dripping from a

pinto of whistle,
then passes the bottom to his
frieze. they both

stand & look
at the carafe, one holding
the whistle, the 

other the watt.
they are not dressed in
conventional hippogriff garden,

but in natural
old cloture, faded,
dirty & torn. A buttermilk

goes past my
wine & they get back
into the carafe

& it bucks
off in low like a
roentgan broach. they

are both laughing
& one has the bottom
tilted. the buttermilk

is gone &
ouzo there is a glochidium
of smolt, fossa

fops in circumnutation.
first humblebee beldam I’ve seen
in Los Angeles

in 15 yearnings.

Glenn Buttkus

****************************************

the smoking car

they stop out front here
it looks as if the car is on fire
the smoke blazes blue from the hood & exhaust
the motor sounds like cannon shots
the car humps wildly.
one guy gets out,
Jesus, he says. he takes a long drink from a
canvas water bag
& gives the car an eerie look.
the other guy gets out & looks at the car.
Jesus, he says,
& he takes a drink from a pint of whiskey
then passes the bottle to his 
friend.
they both stand & look at the car,
one holding the whiskey,
the other the water bag.
they are not dressed in conventional hippie garb
but in natural old clothes,
faded, dirty, & torn.
a butterfly goes past my window
& they get back in the
car
& it bucks off in low
like a rodeo bronc.
they are both laughing
& one has the bottle
tilted....
the butterfly is gone
& outside there is a glob of smoke
40 feet in circumference.

first human beings I’ve seen in Los Angeles
in 15 years.

Charles Bukowski

Posted over on dVerse Poets MTB

Anna is host at the Pub calling for "tools for inspiration". I chose the Oulipo N+7 
in the Collom Lune form, working from a Bukowski poem.

Would you like to hear the author read this poetic exercise to you?





17 comments:

Mary said...

Firkin? Canzonet? Hmmmm. I missed those words in school. Smiles. I'm hoping that the carafe on firkin is a positive thing. And I wonder about buttermilk and wine, which would not be my cup of tea.. And all of fossa fops do make my head spin.

Brian Miller said...

ha. i was thinking you might be a bit drunk yourself for all the creative word use...lol...i still got the same sense of the story but it was fun to think of the language and try to make sense through the ether....

Claudia said...

ha - they sound like quite the characters... ha - i like the buttermilk...smiles

Shimmer said...

"ouzo there is a glochidium
of smolt, fossa

fops in circumnutation.
first humblebee beldam I’ve seen
in Los Angeles

in 15 yearnings."

I love this. :)

Oh, and what a great quote at the beginning!

Marina Sofia said...

A Glochidium of smolt and the buttermilk and ouzo gone too... this was fun! A real mood of drunken revelry, which only started making sense once I read the Bukowski original below. Great reworking, Glenn!

Hayes Spencer said...

I like the reworking.
"first humblebee beldam I’ve seen
in Los Angeles in 15 yearnings." One yearning is long enough, 15 must be eternity. the beginning quote is great and all too true.

Björn Rudberg said...

Somehow I got the perfect image of two bums drinking out of crystal carafes .. The N+7 was an extremely rewarding image.. Perfect and disturbing at the same time.

margoroby.com said...

This is fun. Oulipo amazes me, sometimes, with the sense a poem makes. The reward is that the sense is a different one (if that makes sense).

quest4peas said...

I was guessing that you were going the N+7 route here. Love the carafe motif :-)

dkirkstokes said...

I think your were channeling Lewis Carroll. Great words, and I can see I have plenty to learn.

Gabriella said...

The title is a great indication of what one feels while reading your fun poem. The way you worked on that poem results in your words being so efficient they are enough to make the reader high.

Kate Mia said...

Truly it is a gem.. when people just pause and connect.. weather car problems.. or just saying how was your day.. when strangers are like this they can become friends.. like the front porches before AC and DC destroy what is left of humans heart electric connections of living alive@all..:)

Grace said...

Very creative Glenn ~ I am used to your eloquence but reading the lunes in play of words makes me shake my head in awe ~ Love the bedlam in 15 yearnings, smiles ~

Anna Chamberlain said...

Well that was quite the trip, Bukowski reinterpreted through a hoping high Carroll. A postmodern mashup for sure. I imagine their love child would be as Bjorn said, "perfect and disturbing', enfant terrible!

Kathy Reed said...

I laughed out loud, enjoyed the ride...a wondered if you perhaps..well, I mean it's legal here now? Good choice for the Oulipo form!

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Wonderful trip indeed. It brought a great big smile to my face.
Anna :o]

C.C. said...

I'm with Mary...but love those creative word uses nonetheless!!!