Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Blackthorne: Scene Forty

image from


Cinemagenic Forty


“The chain reaction of evil--hate begetting hate, wars producing more
wars, must be broken, or we will be plunged into an impasse of
annihilation.”--Martin Luther King, Jr.

1(medium close-up) Johnny Eagle: OK, tin star, not today--but on some
other day, I think this one needs killing--motioning with his chin to the
agonized one in the bloody dust.
2(two-shot) angle on Joe Hop: Yeah, maybe, but not here, not today.
3(medium wide shot) angle on the Eagle, measuring the Sheriff’s steely-
blue gaze. Then he pointed to the lard-bucket foreman:
--Graff owes me money. 
4(medium close-up) Graff’s chubby flushed face:
--Like hell. That horse ain’t broke yet; she’s still full of the devil!
5(sound cue) piano & guitar chords.
6(close-up) Johnny: She has had me on her beautiful back--her spirit
will no longer be the same.
7(two-shot) over the Indian’s shoulder:
--Graff: You lazy red-butt sombitch--if you climb back over this fence &
finish the job, then I’ll pay you; otherwise you don’t get a damn dime.
8(sound cue) Indian seed rattle & harmonica.
9(cut to two-shot) over the foreman’s shoulder:
--Johnny: You have no honor, nor respect for others. I think you will pay
me & I’ll head to Pedro’s & have some whiskey, then I’ll go fishing.
10(medium close-up) Graff, sputtering & spitting: You don’t get shit.
I won’t pay you a plugged nickel.
11(sound cue) castanets & snare drum baps.
12(close-up) Johnny: If you don’t, I will cut your tiny cock off & feed it
to the town’s stray dogs.
13(medium wide-shot) The foreman climbed down off the corral fence,
& stood wide-legged with his ham-like fists on his bulging hips. 
14(medium close-up) Graff: Did you hear this bullshit, Sheriff? This
greaseball half-injun has just threatened me in front of you all!
15(medium wide shot) Joe Hop looked up from where he had squatted
down to offer aid to the whimpering boot-squashed bully cockroach
on the ground.
--Sheriff: Then pay him half, & this incident will be quits.
16(sound cue) snare drum whacks over bass drum beats.
17(close-up) Graff:  But, but...
18(three-shot) The Eagle & the Sheriff stared solidly at the rotund foreman,
who was sweating & looking around at some of his hired hands--but they
all seemed to be staring at the ground, or somewhere else. Suddenly,
he reached into one of his immense vest pockets & plucked out several
silver dollars.
--Graff: You know Mr. Bronson ain’t going to like this.
19(sound cue) harmonica & cello.
20(two-shot) Joe Hop & Johnny Eagle exchanged wry grins.
21(three-shot) Graff: Here then, damn your worthless hide!
tossing three silver dollars into the dust. 
22(close-up & sound cue) the silver hitting the ground. 
23(two-shot) Johnny kept his eyes on the foreman, standing 
motionless. Graff, his face turning crimson:
--Well, pick up your fucking money. 
The Eagle held his right hand out, palm up. Graff folded his flabby
arms, stuck out his lower lip, & hoped for some support. 
24(medium close-up) the Sheriff, shaking his head slowly:
--What are you, Graff, ten years old? Pick that silver up & hand
it to Johnny, or I’m going to run you in.
25(cut to) Graff, sputtering & spitting: Arrest me for what?
26(medium close-up) Joe Hop: For making a jackass out of yourself,
& for pissing me off.
27(three-shot) The foreman’s shaggy eyebrows clunked together in a
quivering knot, frown furrows plowed into his wide forehead all the
way to his receding hairline. The three of them stood there for several
elongated seconds.
--Bystander: Fuck me.
28(sound cue) blues guitar slide.
29(medium wide shot)
--Christ, what a dumb-assed thing to get upset about,
said a big man in a buckskin shirt & a flat black hat, bending over
& swooping up the silver.
30(sound cue) saxophone bleat & harmonica riff.

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets OLN


X said...

Dang. I been needing a good western in my life. Love the technique in this. The sound effects add depth to the story. Kinda glad he forced the man to be human. Would love to see hime explain to the judge the charge of jask-assery.

brudberg said...

Wonderful end to this little story within the story... Johnny got his coin in an honorable way, and it seems like the foreman will have to grind his ax without anyone to help turning the whetstone wheel.

Claudia said...

oh i love the close here - that there was someone who put peace over pride - you don't see this often enough...

Kate Mia said...

Oh Lord.. the posturing of manhood..
Where silvered pride dollars become
worth more than tiny
shards of rooster
I never have any
bar stories to tale..
but now i too.. have
collected some standing
silver dollars.. in tail
between the rooster
balls.. in

Forest Tinker said...

Pgenomenal putput, and a real study in style - and lesson. WITHOUT a doubt soundcloud should be used by all, assuming an aptitude to read one's poetry. It makes all the difference.

Hayes Spencer said...

I like the end - peace trumps pride every time. I always so enjoy these. the stories, descriptions, sound effects...more than watching this on the big screen. the small screen of my mind paints these huge.

Joseph Hesch said...

Good scene here, Glenn, with all the right cuts and cues. And, as in any good novel, you've ended it with a bit of "who's that?' to draw us into the next scene/chapter.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

I reckon the bystander saved the day Glenn. Sometimes bystanders just gotta do the right thing.
Anna :o]

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

LOL! Can you imagine if acting like a jackass were a criminal offense?

Cello and harmonica -- now that's some combo. :)

Grace said...

Nice chapter Glenn ~ The conversation & background sounds brings the western life back to me ~ Thanks for joining us in OLN ~

Victoria said...

Your command of the voice of the West is so apparent in this brief scene, Glenn. Nicely done.

Katie said...

Nice! Love the story line, and all the cinematic direction really adds to everything! The ended made me laugh! I wish I could write long poems like this!

Dell Clover said...

LOVE westerns--great peace ending, as others have said.

Truedessa said...

I enjoyed this installment - you are very talented Glenn as you seem to know just what sounds to place where. These guys like confrontation and there is always a show down in a western. I need to write another adventure of some kind.

Sumana Roy said...

wonderful scenes, music, characters, dialogues and what an end! the grandeur incorporated in a poem...

Anonymous said...

"lard-bucket foreman" Ha.

"Indian seed rattle & harmonica" I'd like to hear some of that.

"I won’t pay you a plugged nickel." Ha. You are hilarious!

"whimpering boot-squashed bully cockroach" Nice.

"harmonica & cello" Ooh, what a beautiful merging of sounds.

"blues guitar slide" Nice. (I love the music in this.)

Oh, Lord. Then you went and ended on this note, which of course, I love: "saxophone bleat & harmonica riff"

Anonymous said...

Your Martin Luther King, Jr. quote was absolutely perfect for the scene you painted today...everyone wants somebody else to "lose face" so that they don't have to. Your sheriff seems to have his head on straight...stopped Johnny from going too far last week, but stood up for him when the foreman was making an ass out of himself. Great story telling, once again!

Anonymous said...

great story! your reading lends the perfect tone to it.