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Gravel Sandwich
“Every man is a damn fool for at least five
minutes every day.”--Elbert Hubbard.
My wife and I enjoy road trips in the summer. One
year we were quite ambitious, driving south down
into Montana, through Yellowstone Park, emerging
east into Wyoming, stopping at Devil’s Tower, before
entering South Dakota; had fun in Deadwood, all
cramped up in its valley between mountains. Mt.
Rushmore was grand, remembering NORTH BY
NORTHWEST. Crazy Horse Memorial was bigger,
still a work in progress.
We made an arc north from Custer City so that we
could see the Badlands, where the topography is
gaunt and primordial, with twisty roads, slowing for
buffalo, sensing the spirits of Apaches & outlaws
around every corner. We stopped at a Trading Post.
My wife went inside to cool off & look at jewelry,
while I wrestled with our cooler & made a sandwich.
I placed the sandwich on the roof & pushed the cooler
back inside, just in time to see the sandwich falling
past me, landing in the dirt. Two old men sitting on a
bench in the shade laughed at me. Embarrassed, I
picked up the sandwich, dusted it off & took a big bite
out of it, biting hard into a piece of gravel & broke a
tooth.
I walked past the hecklers, tossing the sandwich in the
garbage, and went inside to get my wife. I was angry
& demanded we leave. I blamed her for leaving me out
in the heat to fend for myself. After she finished
laughing at me, she said, “How old are you? You
should have known better than to bite into a gravel
sandwich !” Now this is one of our favorite road trip
tales to tell.
Moving slow around switch
backs in the Badlands, shaggy
bison rule the roads.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub Haibun
11 comments:
Ha.. yes I can understand that this becomes a favorite memory. I have done a few roadtrips... the longest going from Phoenix all the way up to Glacier, and then along the coastline back again...
Nice Badlands tale to remember. I wonder how hot it has to get to toast the sandwich.
Oh my - how funny is that and your wife was right!
Ha...I would have said the same thing ~ I would love to see those Badlands someday Glenn ~ This was a fun road trip and makes for good photos and summer memories ~
Oh my gosh! That ending hurt MY mouth! But isn't that just the way it goes? It feels awful at the moment (or maybe for quite a few moments). But at some point, our worst experiences can turn into our funniest, most bonding memories and stories.
I love this piece. :) Like I've told my husband for the past several years: Laughter and sex can hold a marriage together better than any other kind of glue.
The 5 second rule doesn't apply to gravel. That sounds pretty hard to choke down.
Glad you regained your sense of humor :) That is a roadtrip I really want to make some day.
Ha!!! On a tent camping vacation with our kids, we stopped at the park deli/supply store and splurged. We bought two steaks to fry on our camp stove and share between the two of us. Our mouths were watering as we got back to our campsite -- but could not find the steaks. George had set them on top of the car with his coffee cup as he unlocked the car door....and left them there. They were wrapped so we doubled back only to find a group of huge birds tearing at the paper and flying away with shreds of raw steak in their beaks. We had hotdogs that night --- again.
Thanks for the memories --- the family lore is never about the good weather or the delicious food or the smooth driving!😊🙃
Love the quote, Glenn - I usually have a stupid half hour!
I've never been on a road trip as far as yours. The longest was Norfolk to Cornwall, a fraction of the usual American road trip, but it was fun visiting old friends and relations along the way. Your trip into Montana and Yellowstone Park sounds fabulous - did you see any of Frank Zappa's pygmy ponies and dental floss? - and Deadwood is just a legend to me!
Your gravel sandwich is similar to the ones we used to eat on our trips to the seaside - full of sand. I always thought that's where the word 'sandwich' came from!
It was good to hear of your trip, Glenn. I saw the Badlands a few years ago, and found the other-worldly landscape fascinating ... and the little prairie dog villages too! I did manage to avoid any gravel sandwiches, however ... though they make for a rollicking good tale!
It sounds like an amazing trip and the Universe has a great sense of humour! Glad you can laugh about it now and share this wonderful tale :o)
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