Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Bruiser



image from wildlifeanimals.blogspot.com


Bruiser

“Regardless, I am still passionate about 
grizzly bears.”---Timothy Treadwell.

It’s November, and my den is hollowed out. I
just feasted on four fat turkeys--ha--a few less
for man’s table. I pick my teeth with four inch
claws. My jaws are so strong I once bit through
a cast iron frying pan to get all the bacon grease.
I mated twice in August, and I’m ready for the
big nap.

They call me Bruiser--which appeals to me a 
hell of lot more than Ursus Horribilis. There are
only a couple of a dozen of us here in the North
Cascades. I range a couple hundred miles, 
sometimes checking out the foothills of the Rockies.
I was raised in the Yukon, but over the last decade
I’ve worked my way down here. I once spent a
year in Montana, but it was just too damn crowded;
hundreds of bears competing for sex and food.

I’m about 30, old for a Grizz--most of us check out
before we’re 25. I think it’s because some of them 
choose not to hibernate; stupid kids--afraid they’re
going to miss something. I’m left alone, which is how
I like it. I’m 9 feet tall, and weigh 880 pounds. I had 
a tussle with a rogue Sasquatch last year. He was 
about 8’ tall, and weighed in at a skinny 425. He was
pretty nimble, but they’re not good fighters; small jaws
and teeth, with no claws. I had to stand erect to battle
him. He gave up after I tore one of his arms off; made
a nice lunch.

I’m expecting a big blizzard this week, so I’m eating
everything that moves, from ants to coyotes. I tend to
hibernate for 5 months. At my age, I enjoy the rest--
but I’ll tell you what, when I emerge in April, I am
both cranky and real hungry.

In Spring the grizzly’s
roar causes critters to hide, cuz

they will devour all.    


Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub

16 comments:

Frank Hubeny said...

Can they really bite through a cast iron skillet? Seeing the sasquatch is almost more believable, but I hope the sasquatch survived.

Toni Spencer said...

I love your voice in this Glenn. Especially about the stupid kids. Ha! I would not be surprised that a bear can eat through a cast iron skillet although I haven't heard of one. When I was about one, Papa took mama Nd I to Alaska because he got good work. He came home from a week's travels and found our cabin demolished where a grizzly came out of hibernation and was angry and hungry. Mama emptied a rifle in it as it tore down the door. I still have that bear skin rug. He took us back to NC...no money was worth that.

Vivian Zems said...

An interesting snapshot of Bruiser's life.lucky he doesn't have to go on a diet!

Victoria said...

Thanks for the warning, Glenn. Maybe will skip your posts in April. Actually, great how you entered the mind of the grizzly.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Love how you give your bear history Glenn, but worry you tore off Sasquatch's arm - now I'll never get to see him!
Little bit about tiggywinkles here: https://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/bird-and-wildlife-guides/a-z-of-a-wildlife-garden/atoz/h/hedgehog.aspx
Anna :o]

Grace said...

I love your story and hope you eat all you can so you can hibernate in peace ~ See you in spring (from afar) ha..

Sarah Russell said...

Wonderful “voice” for your griz, Glenn. And I learned more about them too. I had no idea they could live to 25 or 30. But then, they really have no predator but man, do they.

sarah said...

That's a bear, alright. Couldn't be anything else. Though I have met some people who are pretty cranky after hibernation...

Amaya Engleking said...

Well this was a delight, mainly because of the relaxed, old-man tone,"stupid kids" and such. The jab on man getting to eat four fewer turkeys was a humorous perpetuation of the rivalry at the top of the food chain.

Whippet Wisdom said...

I love the voice of this bear and how he is looking after himself by hibernating at a time when it seems unfashionable among the younger generations ;o)

brudberg said...

I think I'm growing more and more into that bear... it's in my name after all. I would love to hibernate. Being cranky is being a grizzly. The bears here would feast on berries actually.

jazzy tower said...

"...He gave up after I tore one of his arms off; made
a nice lunch...", I don't know why I'm laughing, lol! That is so grizzly. I really like this. I loved the way you embodied the part, nice work Glenn☺☺

jazzy tower said...

Whoa!! That was some experience. Good you still have the rug..

Frank J. Tassone said...

Love the loose haibun, and what a great POV poem! I love how matter-of-fact the bruiser is in describing his life and conflicts! Wonderful write!

Kate Mia said...

Hi Glenn.. Happy Thanks Giving
And somehow i arrived at your
Post Highlighting 40 years of TV Guide
From Decades since '53.. here we are in
'17.. 64 Years Later and as the Beatles Song
Goes.. Will i Still
Love the TV
from
64 years
ago as those TV
Guide Photos Relate
i've Consumed as Many
TV Shows as a Grizzly Consumes
BerrieS hehe.. OMG.. the Modern
Human Library in Subconscious
Flow Ocean More.. So Many Thousands
of Mirror Neuron Relationships with Human/Places/
Things/ Never entering our Flesh and Blood World..
But Never
The Less
As Science
Shows.. Feels
Senses and KNows
No Different than the
Next Door Neighbor over
For A Visit Still.. A Brand New
Experiment of Human Brains now
Married to Mirror Neuron Vicarious
LIFe as Real as Real Feels and Senses
on all
Size Screens
now come Real..
i suppose now
tHere Comes A
Day wHeRE aLL
Screens Come Real..
iN Grizzly Size Regurgitation
To Clear Those Air Waves oF BeForE..:)

Kim Russell said...

Glorious creatures, grizzly bears! Even when they pick their teeth with four inch
claws. I've heard that bears' jaws are strong but it's scary to think they could bite through a cast iron frying pan. But I've heard of hungry humans doing the strangest things.
I, too, can hear your voice in 'stupid kids--afraid they’re going to miss something' and 'I’m left alone, which is how I like it'. I wouldn't want to be around in April when Bruiser's cranky, though! He's what we in En gland refer to as a grumpy old man - just like my David!