Ennui

Ennui

I am starting
to worry
about my constant carping
on the subject
of religion.

It reminds me
of a New Yorker cartoon;
two men breaking rocks
in a prison yard,
one is saying to the other
"it all started doing Jimmy Cagney impressions"

So how did it all start for me?
Exposed to "Christian" beliefs
in my childhood.
Some sound
like good ideas,
some sound
a little sick.
I am not a sheep
and I need no
bloody shepherd.
Strange sexual rituals;
marriage.

Most of the "leaders"
don't seem to
have read as much
of the bible,
as I have,
and their interpretations
tend to the fantastic.

I try to think
of the people involved
as basically rational beings
who merely
express themselves differently,
and that
it's my job
to try to understand.

As far as social implications
are concerned,
people believe in things,
manipulating these people
for political power
is sick
but inevitable.

The religious sites
I monitor
seem to consist
of church insiders
talking to themselves.
I see no dialog,
no controversy.

I even challenge them
from time to time
with provocative remarks,
but,
unless you're
on the team
and agree
to agree,
you have no voice.
Neurotic escapeism.

Doug Palmer 2007