12 Slightly Less Well Known Labors of Hercules

12 Slightly Less Well Known Labors of Hercules


CL Bledsoe


To do the dishes after dinner instead of diverting a river
through the kitchen.

To stop referring to things as being of "my proportions."

To overcome the desire to flush the toilet in mid stream
and race to see if he finishes before all the water is gone.

To water the plants instead of waiting for them to learn
language so they can pray to him for rain.

To shake his fist or curse at bad drivers,
instead of flinging them up into the heavens
to become constellations.

To stop calling Samson a pussy.

To ignore it when someone passes gas at a party,
instead of declaring that he who dealt it shall feel
the wrath of Neptune's trident.

To remember that foreplay doesn't mean penetration.

To stop using the excuse that he's half God
and Gods are lucky to justify his obvious cheating at Yatzee.

To never refer to his sister in law as a lusty wench.

To smile and make conversation with his in-laws
instead of cutting their heads off and burning the stumps
so they won't grow back.

To stop hanging out with his dead-beat cousin Ioloas.


C.L.Bledsoe

Posted over on Cautionary Tale