Thursday, June 12, 2014

The Centurion's Jockstrap Lullaby



image borrowed from bing


The Centurion's Jockstrap Lullaby

“I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.”
--Dr. Seuss.

In the forgotten field
                         of broken tombstones,
                         seven Cadillacs burrowed busily
for tender golden sparrows;   leaving their own feathered fins
                          fluttering around their naked
                          steamer trunks that were covered
with Andy Warhol stickers faded over
Lewis Carroll countries
that only appeared in books by Tolkien. 

The retarded Kenworth sat back
                      on its bronze air brakes
                      happily munching its radial fritter
as kaleidoscope buffalo wings suddenly
                      sprouted, then blossomed
                      on ten tan tortoises who
were really not experienced flyers,
quickly crashing into
                                Lady Liberty’s underpants,
                                the Eiffel Tower’s borsalino, 
                                & the Space Needle’s embattled butt.

There were three prophetic mice
that roared in Minnesota, while
                      three homosexual moose
                      were prosecuted for nibbling
on underage mangos in Montana,
that confused state where only constipated 
                      red armadillos are allowed
                      to drive the invisible state trooper
pursuit vehicles, being forced to wear their natural kevlar
24/7.

I believe that Big Bertha,
the world’s largest mechanical mole,
                                                 collided with two albino Orca
in the men’s room
                    of a Seattle Turkish bathhouse,
                                        famous for being relocated
                                                     to Bend, Oregon secondary
to public lewdness, 
indecent violent viola concerts without a permit,
& for wearing lacy women’s girdles
as holiday headgear.

I postulate that nonsense
makes plenty of cents,
            even though we know
that pennies never did immigrate from
            Heaven, Alaska,
            & one day soon will not come from anywhere,
but rather will be roughly rounded up
            like ghetto Jews by jack-booted thugs
trained tenaciously in secret at Ft. Knox--
            & all those holy Lincoln heads will be marched off
to the Federal Ovens,
            first to be incinerated, & melted down,
before being reconstituted as a fully funded shining Colossus,
an 85 story statue created to stand proudly perched
                   across the murky Hudson,
one foot in Manhattan,
                   the other in Springsteen’s cactus garden
in the dense jungles of New Jersey;

that will resemble George W. Bush in
a fetching concrete toga,
                 with twin bandoliers of missiles
                 worn across his concave chest,
                              rows of observatory windows
                              peeking out of his back pockets,
                                            with black beehives for eyes,
                              an elephant’s trunk for a nose,
with patriotic laser beams shooting
out of his clenched fists,
                              both raised over his helmeted head
in gallant defiance;   
                              an olive branch in one,
                              & a carrot in the other. 
             

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets MTB

Would you like to hear the author read this bit on nonsense to you?

18 comments:

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

Oh my gosh, Glenn - what a psychedelic trip of a poem! So much fun and nonsense -K

Brian Miller said...

ha. def surreal...i hope lady liberty had clean underpants when we crashed into them....smiles. the title was enough for me...a jockstrap lullaby...ha...nice little political commentary in hte images there as well...GW Rambo as the new statue of 'liberty'...oh my

Björn Rudberg said...

After all this burlesque into the realms of albino orcas and secret of the turkish baths, I sincerely hope for some way to select the olive branch over that carrot that the snollygosters always dangle in our confused world.

Claudia said...

oh i love that dr. seuss quote... it is so true.. love the images you combine glenn...the andy warhol stickers...cool - and ha - lady liberty's underpants... it makes me wonder what kind of underpants she wears you know...smiles

annotating60 said...

Well Glenn, you certainly did get wild. Myself not so much. I particularly liked the homosexual moose(s) and the mangos though the Cadillac's came in a close second. Best>KB

Hamish Gunn said...

Goodness! Very, very rich. Quite amazing. A poetic rant without a sore.

freyawrites.com said...

What a wild and vigorous rompy rant, Glenn! So much to choose from, but I particularly loved:

three homosexual moose
were prosecuted for nibbling
on underage mangos in Montana

charliezero1 said...

Now this is what I like to call "Flarf poetry". I love this whole entire piece. Wild imagination and just my cup of tea. :)


I love it! sir. :)

Anthony Desmond said...

oh, Glenn, you had me at homosexual moose and constipated red armadillos... lol... this is an awesome read

Heaven said...

I am smiling while reading this ~ Such fun and wild Glenn ~ Enjoyed this riot of images, smiles ~

Grace

Wolfsrosebud said...

kaleidoscope buffalo wings ... now this would be cool

kaykuala said...

that will resemble George W. Bush in
a fetching concrete toga,with twin bandoliers of missiles,worn across his concave chest

Gosh, Glenn he'll look every bit of a hero! And not many share such sentiments! Great write as always!

Hank

bwfiction said...

wow Glenn, this is rich with non-sequiturs, nice.

Sumana Roy said...

omg...what fun!!! from the title to the last word...lol :D

Arathi Harihar said...

i laughed out loud imagining George Bush in toga...super..can't stop smiling..:)))

Sherry Blue Sky said...

You had me at the title, LOL.....I wish Bush had had that concrete toga the eight years he was in office.....this is extremely clever writing, so enjoyable to read!!!!!

Kathy said...

Ha...good on you for the Bush images...beehives for eyes...and I loved the jumble of words you used....unexpected lovely ones ..."tender golden sparrows' and of course Bertha and her dilemma; you rendered the unconnected here with the totally non connectable quite well indeed!

mrs mediocrity said...

Somehow, your nonsense all makes perfect sense to me ;-)

And the rhythm/cadence in this is phenomenal, it carried me right along.