Broken News

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Broken News

“I have no time for your fucking negativity.”

--Anonymous.

Jennifer Lopez’s Abs Game 

              has become Next Level;

She has just completed          a 22-day Vegan diet,

& has been quoted as saying:

              Hey, I really enjoyed it. 

              You never know how good you can feel

                                               until you put healthy food

               into your body.         Well, hell, at 45

years of age she still is holding it all together, 

& getting headlines by flashing her bra & abs. 

Bladerunner, Oscar Pistorius, was sentenced

to five years in prison. He was taken to an overcrowded

                       maximum security facility

                       Kogosi Mampuru II, where

he will be held away 

           from the general population, secondary

                      to his disability & high profile. 

                                He is eligible for parole in ten months,

when he will stay under house arrest for the remainder of 

his term of sentence. 

A Florida sheriff’s deputy is now facing felony charges

after officials         found out        that he accepted

                   oral sex            from a woman

in exchange for not arresting her; imagine that.

Here in WA state,

Gavin Seim, a former congressional candidate

                        flagged down a police officer

who was patrolling in an unmarked car. 

                        In WA, police can only use

                                    unmarked cars for undercover work;

otherwise how can citizens pulled over

                                    by them really know if they are legitimate;

too many thugs out there pulling over women

for robbery, extortion, or rape. 

As I prepare for my next colonoscopy,

                     I read where Andrew Walls, 32, claims

that Delaware surgeons dressed him

                        in sexy pink women’s panties

                        while he was under anesthetic.

The doctors claimed it was simply

                                            an outrageous prank perpetrated

by some of his own unsavory colleagues; regardless,

                        he is suing for extreme emotional distress.

I guess they left out the pantie liner. 

Marion Williams,

a bachelor living in a rural area

            of Northern CA,            suffered a heart attack,

while outside, & died. Shortly after that, his corpse

was dragged off into the woods

           & eaten by a black bear; who stripped

him of his clothes

& feasted on his corpse for several days,

eating 85% of his body;

           Relatives are considering suing

the U.S. Forest Service for gross negligence. 

Jillian Michaels, a weight trainer

          for the TV show BIGGEST LOSER,

says that she is uncomfortable

                                     discussing her 

                                     lesbian lifestyle, 

Breaking News--Famous artist Banksy

                           was not arrested yesterday

at 3 in the morning, supposedly

                           apprehended by the

24 Hour Anti-Graffiti Task Force,

& his name is definitely not

                                      Paul Horner. 

                                      Thank God

it all turned out to be a silly hoax.

Daniela Poggiali,

a critical care nurse in Italy

was arrested for murdering

                      38 of her patients

over a five year period, who simply

                      Annoyed her. 

This is Glenn Buttkus, thank you for joining me this afternoon,

& letting me share the pertinent news of the day.

                       

Posted over on dVerse Poets Pub Poetics

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