Friday, October 24, 2014

Blackthorne : Scene 30

image from 


Cinemagenic Thirty

Whiskey Words

“There is no bad whiskey--there are only some whiskeys that
aren’t as good as others.”--Raymond Chandler.

1(medium wide shot) Interior of the General Store. Inside, surrounded
by mercantile dust & odors, wide shelves of canned goods, calico 
dresses, bolts of bold cottons on fat rolls, barrels of pickles & pigs feet, 
stacks of potted meat, jars of stick candy & chocolate hunks, dried fruit, 
fat pork sausages hanging on long links, with shiny new farm tools 
mounted on rough-hewn beams overhead, & well oiled polished rifles 
resting on brass pegs,
2(medium close-up) Wallace’s face changed, relaxed;
3(two-shot) as he pulled down a dun earthen jug from a dark corner
behind colorful jars of homemade jam,
4(close-up) and he cheerfully poured out sticky-sweet pungent home--
distilled white whiskey into tall tin cups.
5(sound cue) clarinet riff & saloon player piano.
6(medium close-up) Buck accepted a cup & quickly took three big gulps
of the who-hit-John. His eyes bugged out a bit, & his cheeks fluttered, as
he gasped for air, having survived the alcoholic fire in his throat as it
puddled molten in his surprised stomach.
--Buck: Oooowheeew, damn your eyes, this juice could kill ticks!
7(close-up) Wallace smiling, then it faded quickly as he sipped his drink.
--Too bad about Barnes, hope to hell he pulls through.
8(two-shot) The storekeeper got Buck’s attention.
--Wallace: He’s a good man, & a damned good barber. Guess he just
pumped his jaw once too much about Baron Bronson. Barbers have
loose lips, worse than bartenders. Maybe there’s a lesson to be
learned there. 
9(close-up) Buck: No disrespect, Pard, but that’s a full crock of shit.
10(close-up) Wallace raised his eyebrows like two caterpillars with broken
backs, narrowing his eyes.
11(two-shot) after a tense moment,
--Buck: It didn’t gallop in like that.
--Wallace, calmly: My gut tells me those two gunnies ride for Bronson.
--Buck: Yeah, they probably do.
--Wallace: His fucking highness has never been so blatant before; this
is a real shift in his reign of power.
12(sound cue) Harmonica & snare drum.
13(close-up) Buck:
--Those cowardly assholes were not gunning for Barnes.
14(close-up) Wallace:
--What are you muttering about?
15(two-shot) Both men stare at each other while silently sipping
their whiskey
--Buck: Pretty sure they were after me.
--Wallace: Why? Bronson doesn’t know you yet?
--Buck: You heard me talking to the sheriff--I had a row with his
little brother, Paully, over to the pig wallow. It ended with me tossing
his woman-battering butt out a second story window.
--Wallace: Yeah, that might could be, but shit like that happens over
there all the time.
16(medium close-up) Buck:
--I know when lead has my name on it.
17(medium close-up) Wallace:
--You think pretty highly of yourself.
18(sound cue) cello, saxophone & piano.
19(close-up) Buck chuckling:
--Damn, old man, why don’t you tell me what you really think?
--Wallace: My boy, you only been in town a couple of hours & you
already got scorpions in your boots; that is fucked up.
--Buck: Uh-huh, I hear that dog barking.
21(close-up) Wallace:
--I suppose this all means you’ll be riding on.
22(close-up) Buck:
--Too many people would like that. No, think I’ll be sticking
around for a piece. 
23(sound cue) Indian snake rattle & jazz brushing. 

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over on dVerse Poets OLN

Would you like to hear the author reading this Cinemagenic Poem to you?


Björn Rudberg said...

Yay.. Buck's one cool rabbit that's for sure.. love the caterpillar eye-brows.. and the inventory of the store... Buck seem intent on having a showdown.. :-)

Mary said...

Yes, seems like another fight is on the horizon.

Claudia said...

ha - i love the smell of whiskey but hate the taste - cello, sax and piano play well together - and the snake rattle and jazz brush already announce the next fighting scene...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

A pungent scene, so well painted. I, too, love the caterpillar eyebrows. And the sound effects. Big-time.

Anonymous said...

You already got scorpions in your boots! That's just great, not heard it before. Unlike Claudia I love the smell of whisky AND the taste. Just a great atmospheric piece of writing which I enjoyed :)

Grace said...

Oh, suspense is the air ~ I could slice the knife with that stilted conversation ~ And that whiskey was something else ~

ds said...

"-Wallace: My boy, you only been in town a couple of hours & you already got scorpions in your boots; that is fucked up."

Great line. Love the broken-backed caterpillar eyebrows, too. Superb atmosphere. Thank you for sharing this.

Truedessa said...


Another great scene. I really enjoy reading these as I feel I am there taking in all that is happening. I am sure a showdown will be coming very soon. Scorpions in your boots can never be a good thing.

Gabriella said...

I am like Claudia, I like the smell of whiskey but not the taste. And I wonder why they do not drink Bourbon! I like the setting of this vivid piece, Glenn.

Kate Mia said...

The detailed vividly described store.. reminds me of a wood floored store.. named Manning's in my local area.. and truly until just a few decades ago.. cowboys did come in.. with spittoons.. and rifles in the trucks.. as it is a hunting mecca where i live too..

The only difference is.. there was no gun showdowns.. just displays of man
ness..:)or madness.. or posturing.. to see who can be seen.. as the top dog..too..:)and those days do seem gone now.. as people are often too busy.. to be man or woman.. just a tool.. like a gun.....

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Glenn this is my first time reading a scene of yours--you have a real ease with dialogue that I envy!

janet said...

Glenn, I could see this in my mind's eye and smell it as well. No single malt here!


John Richter said...

Too many people would like that. No, think I’ll be sticking
around for a piece.

Spite - better'n any damned whiskey!

seasideauthor said...

Like bourbon warm and straight. Great storytelling here. Full of testosterones' and show down. When you do the audio, that is calming. Until; he decides to stick around for a piece.

mrs mediocrity said...

oooh... I knew we could count on Buck. the whiskey scene made me smile... and i love the way you build up the suspense!

Brian Miller said...

wonder what he will do with knowing that the lead with his name on it took the life of another....that will tell me much of his character...come on, lets ride the whirlwind....

Marina Sofia said...

Deep, Wild West = I know when lead has my name on it... and scorpions in the boots. Love it! I think trouble is brewing there...

Victoria said...

You paint such a good image of the West, Glenn. Have you visited Virginia City--just about 15-20 miles from Reno. And so many other Ghost Towns in NV. If not, come on down.

Anonymous said...

drinkin's got more folk into trouble by gettin' them outta their heads. here, though... I suspect these two can handle it.

love this series ~

Anonymous said...

You're such a great scene writer, Glenn.. Gosh, I do hope you've got an agent in the wings, feeding the Studios your works. Wonderful imagery, I'd love to see them put to the screen. xVivienne, of OneVoicePoetry

Ginny Brannan said...

Sounds more like he was drinking "moonshine" than whiskey (probably tasted closer to that too!) I like how you've woven the music in with your words. Sparks the imagination and makes the scene come alive to the senses.

Kathy Reed said...

Love the rich detail and am curious if you have this all planned out till the end....or has the script of the story taken on a life of its own during the process and caused you to detour from the original ideas?...would like to know if there are other stories in you fermenting???
Good stuff, G!

Glenn Buttkus said...

I do have a manuscript unpublished novel that I am working from, but it was written over 40 years ago, so I am tweaking it as I transcribe it, transform it into cinemagenic form. I do have another novel unpublished, a detective story, takes place in 70's Seattle, called BAERBAK.

The Bizza said...

Pretty tense scene! Sounds like Buck is going to stir some shit up soon.