Thursday, November 6, 2014

Fair Dinkum



image by Neal Adams, in DC Deadman #5


Fair Dinkum

“Life is fair. We all get the same nine month shake
in the box, & then the dice roll.”--Stephen King.

me: I say it is a fair day to talk to no one.
deadman: Not fair, sir, for I am, or was, or will be someone.
me: Are you saying that the winds are truly fair for a wet
journey of wistful words?
deadman: A cheater never wins; now that is cosmic fair.
me: That’s a fair cop, as my Guinness mates would say.
deadman: In Old English, it be “Faeger”,
me: In Norwegian it was “Vakker”.
deadman: Pleasing, attractive, sexy?
me: No, beautiful, stunning, alluring, with fair hair & complexion.
deadman: I think that it would be fair to say I knew the slut.
me: Now, play fair; rancor is beyond the realm of fairness.
deadman: In Old French it was surely “Feire”. 
me: In ancient Rome twas once “Feria”.
deadman: Fairly said, fair enough for government speak--yes
your piddling research resides fair-to-middling,
me: Are you disrespecting my fair name?
deadman: I think that sometimes it is only fair to take a fucking
without a furious fuss.
me: Do you fuck me, sir?
deadman: Buttkus it be, is it Germanic?
me: Now you would take a foul ball & call it fair?
deadman: It is said of you that you’ve raised three fair daughters.
me: So we digress, yes, & I say to you that it required
a fair amount of patience, being a stepfather.
deadman: In all fairness I inquire, did your lovelies ever conspire
to rid their lives of you for fair?
me: Fairly crass I wager, therefore none of your affair.
deadman: It was you, young sir, that started this dialogue,
not me--so fair’s fair.
me: Says you, a mere geek at the Fair, says nobody.
deadman: I do fear that you drag my fair will throw the small
hole in an oaken fair-lead. 
me: Surely, you are not so deluded as to consider yourself
fair-minded?
deadman: Only on Thursdays at high noon in the Shetlands
while in a pub on Fair Isle.
me: Your ragged response cuts me like a short jab caught
fair in my gut.
deadman: My death certificate allows me license to consider
such as you fair game.
me: And so Jehovah said in Gaza to the Israelites, play
fair my children.
deadman: Your biblical reference conjures fair resentment.
me: You drive my balls to the fairway then?
deadman: Why not, tis fair green not a bramble bush.
me: I tell you, your jibes pass over my flesh fairing like a soft 
breeze; barely registering contact.
deadman: Do you admit then that this fair exchange of views
& barbed verbiage lies well with you?
me: Only on Thursdays at 3 a.m. at the fairgrounds in Fairbanks.
deadman: Do you really consider this fair play?
me: Are you are fetching member of the fair sex?
deadman: I must say that you do have a fair edge to your
acerbic wit, sir.
me: A fair catch, boyo. I will leave it at that, your point. 
deadman: Then you wish to be rid of me for fair.
me: Not really, I am just anxious to attend the Washington
State Fair. I adore the pig races & the fat elephant ears
dripping with cinnamon & hot butter.
deadman: Is it a fair assumption to consider that we may
converse again on another day?
me: Yes, tis fair to say, to consider, to relish, to look forward to.
deadman: Excellent--that makes me fairly pleased to hear it.
me: Good, then it is fairly glad I be as I take my leave.
deadman: Fair farewell.


Glenn Buttkus

Posted over on dVerse Poets MTB

Would you like to hear the author read this Fair Poem to you?

19 comments:

Claudia said...

elephant ears with cinnamon and hot butter...hmmmmm....
and wow... you've used that word in so many different ways that for me as a non-native english speaker i was just sitting there with an open mouth...and learned a lot.. cool on weaving in the old english and norwegian as well

Björn Rudberg said...

A wonderful conversation.. I admire your venture into our Nordic languages.. fager in Swedish is fair.. a fair maiden is en fager mö (but it's slightly archaic).. I think you have explored a lot of meanings of fairs here..

Glenn Buttkus said...

It was Brian who became my Muse today, propelling me into full tilt Deadman vibe; creating a better deadman poem than ever before, but jumping on FAIR for the 10 second ride; what fun indeed!

Brian Miller said...

hehe...you had fun didn't you...and I totally expected you to go the FAIR PLAY route with the comic book connection....but you deadman'd it....

oh man elephant ears have a great bit of memories behind them for me...boy you went all kinds of fair on us as well...lol...

nice approach conversational styles as well...love this much many....

Beachanny said...

A more than fair amount of wit mused with the whole dictionary load of meanings caught in the quarrel of dialogue - with death and life and global associations. A brilliant piece of work, Glenn. I am more than validated again with my choice of prompt - worried as I was if it would fly. Thank you!

quest4peas said...

you certainly used "fair" a fair amount of times :-) Nicely done!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

What a clever dialogue/verse!

Kathy Reed said...

I'm in awe of your repertoire, sir, and find this piece particularly far-reaching in your study of the word "fair":..more than a dictionary or thesaurus, but a wikopedia if you will, of not just the word, but of the entire divergent meanings based therein and in the rafters of our minds.

cybernetictonguestastingbabel said...

Quite a groovy conversation you and Deadman had over the word fair. Enjoyed hearing you read it.

Truedessa said...

that was quite the conversation so much to ponder and I was amazed as all the fairness..always interesting here Glenn ;)

Mary said...

Your conversation has me coming and going, Glenn. I think it might be an English teacher's delight! Smiles. This deadman certainly does get around!

Unknown said...

Interesting linguistic riffs there - I don't even care if they are valid or not, they sound so plausible and are so witty!
You are such a master of dialogue - I love this conversation with the Deadman (yes, I guessed that might have been inspired by Brian...)

Marina Sofia said...

Ooopsie, that unknown commentator was actually me, I got overexcited and pressed the button too quickly!

seasideauthor said...

Great combo. of the two prompts. Dialogues of a mind that always
has the on switch to high. Well written and inspirational in a strange elegy way.

Sumana Roy said...

what a write!!!..i lack appropriate words to appreciate this mind blowing piece properly...awesome!!!

bwfiction said...

a fair orgy :)

Bishop said...

Don't think I could have managed to use the word in so many different ways. :) Eagerly read it twice.

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

fair or foul - this is a highly entertaining conversation - deadman is quite the wit!

Myrna R. said...

Brilliant! I love the dialogue and the many uses of fair. And indeed we'll all meet the deadman someday. Meantime, he's fun to talk to.