Thursday, November 20, 2014

Riding the Reptile

the 2014 ford shelby mustang GT500

Riding the Reptile

“The process of perception is an aesthetic end in itself,
& must be prolonged.”--Viktor Shklovsky.

Believe me, I am content to be your passionate paramour,
                                                  your ferocious lover,
                                                  your beautiful bitch, and yet
at the same time to be so ripped,
                                     so pumped,
                                     so musclebound, that I am also
           your genuine BMF,
           your road companion
           your chick magnet, &
           your for-real time machine.

Five decades ago, you rode my cousins,
                                      drove my brothers, 
                                      dry-humped my Mama,
              & fingered my Father, at a time when
your own sculpted muscles
needed no props or projections, & I forgive you
                                       for bailing out on us when the herd
                              became weaklings, clowns,
                   & Indian paintbox chuckles.

                   Our love affair today,
         after such a long separation
is hotter than ever
         as now I am both your crotch rocket & friend,
                    fully accepting all the quirks
                                 & perks about each other.

I have no trouble scoffing at the folks
who see me as only mindless muscle,
just a 21st Century robotic clone,
a growling, purring reminder
of those big block days when
pretty women would ask,   “Why do you need to have all
                       that power?” then smile sweetly & ask,
                   “When can I have a ride?”

You definitely did your research, man,
       & I can dig it, so glad
       you understand & appreciate my attributes, &
                    at 50K-60K on my price tag, I am pleased
                    you can finally afford me. So
                        my 662 horsepower 5.8 liter V-8
rumbles exhaust notes to die for,
                        my six-speed manual transmission
with OD has a stiff clutch, but not too tough that your honey
can’t compress me, & hey, 
                        my 15 mpg gas consumption
is modest yet serviceable--
                        my front seats mold to your butt
like mink-lined driving gloves,
                        my retro-dash keeps nostalgia stoked,
& when you punch it
                        my acceleration is all G-Force.

Yeah, we both know that like with any relationship,
there is an accommodation factor to consider;
                        my tiny back seat is ridiculous,
with room for an umbrella & briefcase. 
        I have no rear view camera,
                   no side curtain airbags,
                   no telescoping steering wheel,
                   no smooth ride, what with my solid axle
design & very stiff suspension, hopping a bit after a bump, &
                         my rear tires perhaps are not wide enough;
        but hey, cops like to use us as
        pursuit vehicles, I have lots of trunk space, & when
                   you slide into gravel my steering remains stable.

Sometimes I catch you staring at my
sexy rearing Cobra emblems, & you miss
                    the old silver galloping stallion, but
I want you to know,           I am your pony & your rapid reptile.
Even though there are days
when your wife seems envious of our fellowship--
rest assured, Steve McQueen would understand.
He’s probably got three of us
in his celestial garage. 

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over on dVerse Poets MTB

Would you like to hear the author read this Defamiliarization Poem to you?


Claudia said...

smiles... men and cars... that is a relationship that you could write whole books about... i like how you make the car talk and the nod to pretty woman.. remember the scene from the movie... would love to drive such a car - just once - just for fun.. smiles

Mary said...

Ah, I had a good guy friend with a blue Mustang back in the day. Nice memories. There still is mystique with the Mustang. No doubt it is a sexy car. And I love the way you gave the Mustang life and a personality!

Björn Rudberg said...

There is something about a car that defies all sense and sensibility.. somehow we are all attracted to the sheen of chrome and overdrive.. even if we never press the accelerator all the way to a speedingticket.. (myself I have a tiny 1.6 liter engine with 200 HP .. in a nice mother of pearl package.. but it doesn't rumble)..

peach blossom moth said...

"celestial garage" Ha! This is hilarious, and so well written. You are the absolute best at knowing when/where to break a line and how to utilize "white" space. I suppose it's "cream space" here, though.

Kate Mia said...

OMG.. and ain't this the truth of so many of us men.. that turn our cars into Greek GODS of magic metaled Beware..

Well.. i started off with a Maverick.. but when i graduated to a 94 Camaro.. when i drove it
off the lot.. i truly imagined everyone wanted
to steal it from me.. as it was too good to be true....

But on the other hand they probably didn't have a Maverick until they were 26 either..:) That old horse was a battered warrior before the end of its days....

but it still brought in $300 as it had become legendary by then...;)

at least in my mind...:)

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Men and cars indeed - I don't understand the passion, but realise it exists.
How delightfully different we are, what with the illusion that women have a passion for handbags and shoes.
I don't have this and apart from the vacuous few - don't know of many that do either.
But some women love men in fast cars...
Loadsa love
Anna :o]

Joe Hesch said...

Smooth and slick as original sin. The poem and the car. I see so many of our lady friends think this is solely a guy thing, but my daughter's 2015 black Mustang is enroute from Michigan as we speak. Well, except for a little snow on the tracks near Buffalo...

Great, heartfelt ode to something so many of us wanted, but so few of us attained. Kinda like Katherine Ross.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like fun! I'm at the stage of life though where a mini-van just makes more sense. Maybe someday!

Marina Sofia said...

A stern, demanding mistress indeed! Ah, men and cars... my husband won't let us drop a crumb, a speck of dust in his beloved car... makes us take our shoes off, especially after a walk in the woods... and it's not even a Mustang!

Sabio Lantz said...

I am definitely not a car-lovin' guy. But you made me sympathetic to your love affairs.

kaykuala said...

You led us through the whole progress of the speeding machine in every detail. It shows as an enthusiast and perhaps owner of many of the makes mentioned. This is plainly educational Glenn. Thanks for sharing!


Gabriella said...

I love what the point of view and your choice of images allow us to see about the relationship between you and Your Mustang. The fanciest car I ever owned was a Lancia.

Beachanny said...

I drove a red Toyota MR2 until I went to the beach. He was so fine my MR2 - he rippled with red muscles and a T-top that opened to the huge Texas sky. I let my son have it; he's fixing him up. I hope he enjoys his time with him too. Great poem, better subject! Very fine.

Wolfsrosebud said...

LOL... a man and his car.. something hard to understand

Susan said...

Pony and reptile, huh? I thought I understood about vehicle lovers--but this poem goes further than I ever guessed. I wonder if other men would admit to the truths in here!? Bravo.