Monday, August 8, 2016

Practice Wife

image borrowed from

Practice Wife.

“If God lived on earth, people would break
his windows.”--Jewish proverb.

It was 1979. I was 35--she was 21, and gorgeous. We worked 
in the same office in Los Angeles. She was Jewish--I was not.
We dated for a year. Our physical relationship was off the 
chart. She seemed to enjoy all the things I was interested in--
hiking, road trips, reading, & movies. We were married
by a Captain of a ship docked in San Pedro--honeymooned at
Catalina. Her parents did not attend the wedding, since I
was so goy. 

I tried very hard to bridge the ethnic gap--studied Hebrew, 
spoke Yiddish, studied the torah & rabbinical essays,
& attended temple. After a year, they did, begrudgingly
accept me, which was about the same time Renea announced
she did not really like sex, except for procreation, & hated
hiking, road trips, & films. Her mother had instructed her,
& her sisters, in “how to catch a husband”--just pretend to
share his interest in all things, be hot in the sack, make him
believe he is the center of the universe. So I spent four
miserable years inhabiting a loveless illusion before I
insisted upon a no-fault divorce. We had no children--
thank God.

On the high desert
of the Antelope Valley,
love refused to bloom.

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub


Toni Spencer said...

How very sad for you. I'm glad though it ended and you split to find real love. Now you have a loving wife, children, grandchildren...a good life and a good marriage.

De said...

YIKES. I'm glad you weren't doomed to a lifetime of this, Glenn. And can write about it now, with a little grace and humor. ;)

Grace said...

So sad that it happened to you Glenn. There are women are like that, out to catch a husband. Good for you to leave the loveless marriage.

Victoria Young said...

Glen, I can relate to this and it's so sad. You worked so hard and tried your best - so glad you got out! You are such a wonderful and passionate writer.

Mary said...

Glenn, I am glad you got yourself out of that situation! No positives that I could see.....

Victoria said...

Dang. Sad story indeed. She must not have understood the concept of "Shekinah." (May have spelled that wrong) Glad you moved on.

Walt Wojtanik said...

But from what I can tell, you're a very nice goy! Such sadness should not befall nice guys! A learning experience and on to the next lesson! Well done, Glenn!

Sara McNulty said...

How disgraceful! I am happy you are well out of it. My first marriage was a disaster, but no kids. (Love the proverb)

Rosemarie Gonzales said...

an unfortunate situation that i am glad you are over with. :) love the proverb in the beginning.

Kate Mia said...

WeLL.. i guess.. just goes to
sHow one can take the
girl away from the
culture and
but taking
the mother
and culture
away from the
girl.. is next to
impossible.. i never
expected anything to be
easy in life.. hehe.. and i
suppose that is why i've only
had one wife.. no matter what
the differences were my friend..

help with a sMiLe..;)

Kim M. Russell said...

I think most of us have one of those relationships that wasn't meant to be - that's how we learn to appreciate the real thing.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

'Women's wiles', it used to be called. I always hated the very concept.

My first marriage was very different in circumstances, but I too was deceived about the person's true nature, and I too said afterwards, 'Thank God we didn't have children.'

Petru Viljoen said...

I'm about to write about the dishonesty, deception and viciousness women are capable of, in their relationships with men as well as in friendships with other women. You must have been furious to have been made such a fool of! I hope you gave her and her family a good what-for before you left. Congrats on not wasting further time in trying to 'make it work'. Much regard, Petru.

kaykuala said...

just pretend to share his interest
in all things, be hot in the sack
make him believe he is the
center of the universe

They were well schooled by such conniving mothers. But ostensibly to be in love without sincerity would leave much to be desired in a relationship. Not having children was a blessing a big relief!


Maria said...

Happy to know that you have not prolonged the agony any further. :) You deserve better.

lynn__ said...

I'm sorry to read it, Glenn. Very sad for everyone involved, really...makes you wonder why the deception and insincerity? But not the first time such has happened in the history of the world!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I am happy you moved on to other loves and lives. I read this with great empathy, am well acquainted with disappointment in love. Smiles.

Marilyn B said...

Children are always a blessing (in my opinion) even when the marriage is not. Well written, Glenn.

R.K. Garon said...

Glad to see you, rather than you being "viewed" :-)

Mish said...

It's so sad when we unknowingly waste time on those who care less....but sadder when we know and remain in denial. Glad you got out sooner than I did! Nice write.