Saturday, October 14, 2017

J. Hump Records



image from breitbart.com


J. HUMP RECORDS

“I hear that Melania has a reoccurring nightmare--
she’s in bed pinned down under a 300 pound sack
of orange shit.” --Bill Maher.

Damn,
it was Little Bill who broke the news--
our President has let Rap become 
his new Muse.

Debonair Donny has found a way to expand his
base and rejuvenate his Presidency. BITCHES 5,
a new Rap group, performed at the White House
during Black History month. Midway during the
show, Trump leaped to his feet, turned his red
ball cap backwards & began to rap alongside the
performers. He and the lead singer began to bump
hips, then doing a facsimile tango while rapping 
in counterpoint duet. Everyone clapped, and our
President became smitten.

At three a.m., he began a Tweet storm:

OMG-I’m in lust with #Shakutth & she adores #Me.
My secret love with Rap has been revealed. She is
now my constant companion. Moving her now

into the WH. #She makes me feel 40 again! Am
appointing her the #SecretaryOfTheArts. That hag
Melania is out in the cold, while sexy foxy..

#Shakutth has captured my heart. Skank #Melania
will live in NJ; will not divorce her, cuz that could
stain my political image; she agreesOK

Shakutth is a gorgeous 25 year old NY-bred sassy
sometimes lesbian, who is half black & half Jewish.
She told CNN that her Lovey-Name for the
President is “J-Hump”. He created a record company
for her. Her first album, J. Hump Rules, has shot to
the top of the Pop charts, & is very popular in
Israel.

She is at his side 24/7, replacing Ivanka as his 
political advisor. “She is my chocolate Yoko Ono.”
She began to dress just like him, starting a new
fashion trend & resurrecting his Clothing Line.
His popularity numbers rose from 35% to 75%.
She stated to FOX & FRIENDS: I flat out told 
Jay--if you want to keep tapping this fine ass,
then it’s no more fucking Nazis. 

She recruited 50 of her LBGTQ friends to be her
Brown Shirt Posse, dressing them like Mussolini
thugs. They’re all strapped with pink Glocks. The
Secret Service works with them, all eager to do
photo-ops with the new entourage.

Jared & Ivanka throw huge parties now where the
BITCHES 5 perform, celebrating all the Jewish
high holy days. Our President goes to a Jewish
Temple on Saturdays, and a Baptist Church on 
Sundays. He has learned a lot of Yiddish epithets
which now spice up his Tweets. A rabbi has a new
office alongside the WH chapel. Trump has been
endorsed by Jews for Jesus & Woody Allen.

I’m now having a ball,
don’t need no fucking wall.
I told Little Rocket Man
that from now on he can keep his
regime cuz he’s part of my team.
I told all those losers in Europe
that they could suck my syrup,
while I’m banning all travel to Middle East
(cept for Israel) cuz my diplomacy is dope,
a fucking fantastic moveable feast. Yup,
and we fixed Obama Care--did it on a dare.
I tell you I could not be a happier man,
cuz Mexi-cants have turned into Mexi-cans.
and I’ve gone from being a sad sack zero

to a fucking red-white & blue super hero ! 


Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub OLN



18 comments:

Blogoratti said...

That was a delight to read indeed, warm greetings.

Anonymous said...

Inspired freeform beats here Glenn and so dystopian it could be- not fake.

Kim M. Russell said...

J. Hump Records and Debonair Donny - how do you think this up, Glenn? I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or throw up at the terrible picture you painted:
'...Midway during the
show, Trump leaped to his feet, turned his red
ball cap backwards & began to rap alongside the
performers. He and the lead singer began to bump
hips, then doing a facsimile tango while rapping
in counterpoint duet' !!!

brudberg said...

I just wonder if this makeover will happen... it sounds as likely as any other scenario... sounds like the apprentice and Big Brother's illegitimate child

indybev said...


Oh dear, I hope that doesn't appear on Facebook as gospel truth tomorrow! I can envision you writing that with a sly grin! (It is, by the way, interesting to me that on Facebook political harangues go to and fro viciously, while here there seem to be no Trump supporters. Such a refreshing relief! ... bit I do wonder why that is).

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Only you could pen something as bold as this one, Glenn! Hats off!

Gayle Walters Rose said...

I'm with Bjorn. Nothing Trump does or says would surprise me...nothing, not even this scenario! Way to go, Glenn, and cool that it got you up in the night to write it down.

Jane Dougherty said...

You people frighten me.

tonispencer said...

I don't know exactly what to say about this. I can't imagine you staying awake long enough to write this. this would give me nightmares. Lot of anger in this.

Marina Sofia said...

That sounds uncomfortably close to the facts, sadly!

qbit said...

Great! And the photo was fantastic!

Alison H said...

It isn't true though is it?

Vivian Zems said...

Oh my days! This tirade was priceless :) :)

Kathy Reed said...

Ha,you made me laugh, but then I realized..we let him steal the presidency; anything can happen under heaven..why not this?

Namratha said...

Ah! Even such far-fetched scenarios can come true in this crazy world.. you imagination might not be tooo off the mark

Amaya said...

Hahaha, all of it! But, "did it on a dare" just sums up the sack of orange nacho macho sack of shit!

Victoria Ceretto-Slotto said...

Effective rant. I do wish for less anger, though, that seems to just escalate and destroy.

Katie Mia Frederick said...

Muse comes in all colors
Dark to light
burnt
orange
lies
come more
colorfully exposed
for what they are
in tide black light..
hehe as 'they' say
grow a pair of Love
eYes and Listen uP..;)