Thursday, May 3, 2012

2Retaliate



image borrowed from bing

2Retaliate
never lie down in abysmal darkness,
badgered by bullies, under damn duress.
Darwin may have figured it out all wrong,
for one can survive with bars from Pan’s song
humming on our pursed lips, while turning cheek,
owning our pain, not accepting the meek
label forced raw upon our puerile person;
we search for compassion, find mostly none,
we open our arms, aching warm and wide,
allowing their bile welcome access inside;
we know we are not a flesh-bone doormat,
so we change bellicose to pesky gnat;
we retaliate with a genuine smile
as contagion, de-fusion for a while.
Glenn Buttkus
May 2012
the more better Clarian Sonnet
Posted as well over on dVerse Poets-FFA

Would you like to hear the author read this poem to you?


12 comments:

Beachanny said...

And this is better. I like that there is a "song" here. It echoes the reference to the pipes of pan- healing properties evoked through music. It's all a progression. I'm only at stage one of mine gathering reference material. I don't know if I can compress enough not one but two myths. But this is (I repeat myself) a noble and valiant subject. I took it on in a children's book and painted myself into a corner that I couldn't get out of even with a deus ex machina.
So I'm an admirer of these drafts. Well done!

Brian Miller said...

nice...i totally detest bullies man...i was bullied growing up....and i dont mind it one bit when a bully gets taught a lesson...

edit...did you mean my or may?

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Alright then! I like the way you molded this to the form!

robkistner said...

Cool clarian Glenn...

here’s mine

Tashtoo said...

love it! The world grows ever tougher for our young ones, and I see why when I see the amount of adults who are content to push and bully their way thru life. kudos on the form and A+ on the message. This reader is leaving with disarming smile in tact...off to face some bullies! ;)

Glenn Buttkus said...

Thanks Brian, the word is "may", and I will fix it now; nice catch.

Growing up, Nat, I was too big to bully, but I saw too much of it.

Thanks, Rob.

Marbles, the Form For All, and MTB challenges at dVerse are fun and instructive.

Thanks for looking at both versions, Beaachanny.

Anonymous said...

Good subject enough said. and still like it.
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Maude Lynn said...

Very well done. Excellent flow.

Semaphore said...

Yes, this one works very, very well. Same courageous theme, but you've reworked things so that the progression is tighter, the flow more musical, the imaging more succinct and therefore more powerful.

Lane Savant said...

Yea I kicked many asses before Buttkus kicked mine, as he continues to do.

Lane Savant said...

Why are there two of my comments? I only posted one. Someone's goin' down for this!!!!

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Brilliant! And I agre that it's veen better than the other; also the bing image is stronger I think.