image borrowed from bing
Burmese Bright
Your love won’t tie
this old guy up;
can’t buy bull shit.
I hate to fly,
that’s no lie, Slick;
it’s my sadness.
One should not sigh
asking why not
plum pie for lunch.
There is that moon,
just the boon, sir,
raccoons crave most.
On roads I zoom,
racing doom clouds
past tombs of joy.
Weevils in rye,
wings over skyscapes;
crows vie for power.
Winning is nigh,
so just try now;
leap high for it.
Glenn Buttkus
November 2012
Posted over on dVerse Poets FFA
Would you like to hear the author read these Thank Bauk stanzas to you?
17 comments:
I've not heard of the form before, but think I have an idea thanks to you...
I especially like the ending.
Tight form and I enjoyed yours. All I could do was contort out a 3-line poem ;)
tombs of joy...what a cool turn of phrase that....and the inclusion of raccoons...ha, i like...this was a hard form....yours was def fun...
Lots of vernacular speech - very much your voice, and full of your rhythms and paradoxes. I found this challenging to write in my voice, but you did it exceptionally!
ah, you make this poem sound fun and engaging. wonderful./past tombs of joy/ --- /leap high for it/ great work!
loved the first 'step' of the 'staircase'... great write.
Sharp and witty, you do manage to keep your voice well. Looks like you tamed the dragon.
Very cool...love what you did here with the form, Glenn...quite ambitious too.
This is fun, Glenn, and you do it so well. Makes me want to sit still and be quiet. My favourite is this:
There is that moon,
just the boon, sir,
raccoons crave most.
Had a great time reading this, a journey of sights and sounds.
Oh my, what a take on the Than Bauk form! Your rhymes are tight and fun; really like how you've made it your own.
made me smile...plum pie for lunch....yeah..why not..
great work within this form Glenn. Some very cool stanzas in here and an overall fun story-telling feel here. You really did great.
Impressive. The first two stanzas are real humdingers.
This was soooo hard for me! There's not a lot one can do with four syllables...let alone rhyme...I come here, and am shown different...
That first stanza put a nice smile on my face. I don't think I've ever heard of plum pie...is that a good thing or bad?
This was really fun to read, thank you.
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