image borrowed from bing
Blackthorne
Cinemagenic Seven
Homecoming
“Shake it until the moon becomes the sun.”
--Vada Nobles
1(sound cue) saloon glasses clinking, a woman’s laughter, a dog barking.
2(medium 3-shot) the three loafers staring after the stranger.
3(medium close-up) the hatless man: there’s something about that man.
4(close-up) the beanpole: something besides the fact that he is one scary
son-of-a-bitch?
5(3-shot) the hatless man: just seems like I seen him before.
6(close-up) the fatman: hey, I think we would have remembered a guy
like him.
7(sound cue) guitar strumming, then a long slide.
8(close-up) the hatless man: No, it will come to me--must have been a
long time ago.
9(medium 3-shot) the three men exchange confused looks.
10the fat man: I got a bad feeling.
11(sound cue) cello, elongated bowing.
12(cut to a wide shot) a road winding through the foothills, bordered
with pine, scrub oak, aspen, & thick brush.
13the stranger rides into the frame, loping smoothly with the black dog
trotting alongside.
14(sound cue) violin & harmonica.
15(medium shot) the rider reins up.
16(cut to a low angle shot) as the proud roan stallion dances & prances,
red muscles rippling, eyes flashing.
17(medium close-up) the stranger is staring off into the past, thick memories
rising up in his blue eyes; a soft breeze ruffling the back of his long hair.
18(sound cue) Indian snake rattle.
19(medium wide shot) the tall rider turns off the main road & starts climbing
up a steep twisting side road.
20(smooth crane shot) the stranger traveling up the hill, moving in & out
of the thick patches of trees.
21(medium close-up) shivering aspen leaves.
22(sound cue) lonesome wind becoming harmonica chords.
23(medium close-up) a cougar high up on a rock shelf.
24(close-up) the puma’s yellow eyes.
25(cut to reverse shot) the cougar swishing its tail.
26(sound cue) Indian flute, short reedy bursts.
27(pull back to medium wide shot) the rider in the distance passing
below the mountain lion.
28(cut to medium close-up) the black dog has stopped,
and is staring up at the rock shelf.
29(medium wide shot) the rider passes through the frame,
behind the dog.
30(sound cue) a cougar’s growl.
31(close-up) the dog’s brown eyes
32(sound cue) the dog’s growl, followed by a distant
cougar’s cry.
33(medium shot) the stranger stops his horse, and looks up,
scanning the rocks above him.
34(close-up) the stranger’s hand resting on the stock of his
scab-bored Sharps.
35(sound cue) cello being strummed fading into a hawk’s
whistle.
36(overhead traveling shot--crane, helicopter, CGI) moving ahead
of the rider around several bends in the road, past a huge rock
shaped like an Indian head, out into the open where the
topography leveled off, revealing....
37(wide shot) an abandoned ranch.
38(hold on shot for a 3 count)
39(sound cue) horses whinnying, chow bell clanging, children’s
joyous laughter.
40(medium close up) entrance to the ranch, wide gates open, one
hanging broken on it hinges, thick timber center posts with a gunshot
sign swinging under the cross-tie on top that read ANTLERED BUCK.
41(sound cue) piano playing sweetly.
42(traveling crane dolly shot) into the ranch yard--we see a two-story
ranch house, a long low bunkhouse, a large red barn, several sheds
& three corrals.
43(medium close-up) a black feral cat sitting on the front porch.
44(close-up) the house cat’s yellow inquisitive eyes.
Glenn Buttkus
September 2013
Posted over on dVerse Poets OLN115
Would you like to hear the author read this poem to you?
17 comments:
oh tight closing shot...the eyes of the feral cat...pretty cool foreshadowing as well....in panning ahead to that house...there is a story there that perhaps unveils our mystery man a bit...
again...love the instruments...the violin..cello (one of my fav instruments) and cool job on pulling us right into the scene sir...
I just picture that you must really be having an enjoyable time writing this, Glenn. Fun to read the different kinds of shots, the angles, the sounds, that help the reader vividly picture what is happening.
That end made me wanting the sequel right now.. your really know how to keep us in suspense... right...
Glenn, I've said it everytime you do these shooting sequences that I love it. Not to be redundant but I love it. >KB
I'm here every week. You now know how I love a good Western. So much I'm gonna write one someday. Already have two stories.
from sound to color and texture this works wonderfully. lines 11-16 really pull me in further. your timing is fantastic in this, and did I mention my appreciation of the colors? really fine word artistry, Glenn.
Glenn, as I've said before, I so enjoy how you've presented these "scenes." You are truly and epic poet. I think this is my favorite so far. The atmosphere you propel us into is so full of mystery, almost eerie.
A scene you set
Enjoyed, you bet
The cat at the end
Works for my rhyming trend
Made my day punk,
Go ahead and don't get in a funk lol
Loved this! Haven't read them before, but now I want to read more.
~Tamara
LOVE the western poetry here, Blackthorne is AWESOME!
Love the parenthetical beginning and closing shots...dog barking...viewer knows lots of action coming..closing shots of cats suggests to me...mystery...and a sequel. Everything in between...imaginative, original and hooks the viewer. Like much :) ~jackie~
Liking the sounds of music and setting of the scene...seems something is a brewing, like a quiet before the storm ~
That talented streak shows itself again, Glenn! You're enjoying it, making this offering all the more fun to you and to us here! Great!
Hank
Let's head on down to the Long Branch and throw back one or two.
(two saddle up, astride Palominos, gallop away down a winding trail
(fade to black)
Cheers!
I love reading your scripts of the wild wild west..as those TV shows and movies 'then' were more reflective of life as IS..
The bitterness of glitz is this life is lost...and no longer reflected on the big screen at home and the bigger screens less visited...
That is SO COOL!! i loves me some wild wild west glory and reflection.
xo
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