Gourd Gossip

image borrowed from bing

Gourd Gossip

“A rolling pumpkin gathers no moss.”

It is difficult to produce a quality TV documentary

that is both incisive & probing when every 12 minutes

one is confronted with 7 dancing pumpkins singing

about toilet paper--Rod Serling

My toughest fight was with my first Pumpkin.

--Muhammed Ali

Under every stone lurks a political pumpkin.

--Aristophanes.

“Only God can make a pumpkin--probably because if left

alone they will lose their gourds.--Woody Allen

“A robot may not injure a pumpkin, or through inaction, allow

a pumpkin to come to harm.” --Issac Assimov

“I really don’t deserve this award, but I have pumpkinitis, 

and I don’t deserve that either.”--Jack Benny

“Do unto pumpkins as you would have them do unto you.”

--the Rule of Gourd.

“The real problem with this world is that most people are a 

few pumpkin ales behind.”--Humphrey Bogart.

“A good pie should have pumpkins in the beginning, and spices

at the end, & they should be as close together as possible.”

--Will Rogers.

“Pumpkinism is the belief that when you die, your soul will

be baked into an angel’s pie.”--George Carlin.

“ It just makes me sick to my stomach when I watch Pumpkins

on TV talking about themselves.”--Marlon Brando.

“I tell you if God wanted us to look like a gourd, he would

have created us as pumpkin seeds.”--Mel Brooks.

“Send pumpkins, guns, & money.”--Glenn Frey.

“Victory always belongs to the pumpkins with the most

perseverance.”--Napoleon Bonaparte.

“Pumpkins willingly believe what they wish.”--Julius Caesar.

“A true pumpkinoid is someone who only knows a little about

what’s going on.”--William S. Burroughs.

“When you have eliminated the gourd’s pulp, whatever remains,

however improbable, must be the pumpkin.”--Sherlock Holmes.

“The toughest thing about being a pumpkin is that it is essential

for you to accept that Halloween only comes once a year.”

--Irving Berlin.

“Democracy means that any gourd can grow up to be the 

Pumpkin, & those who don’t grow up can still be the Vice-

Pumpkin.”--Johnny Carson.

“There is only one difference between an insane pumpkin

& me--I am not a pumpkin.”--Salvador Dali.

“A pumpkin worth having is a gourd worth cheating for.”

--W.C. Fields.

“Do not consider consuming pumpkins painful, for they

are good for you.”--Euripides.

“Pumpkins are all built to live in, more than to merely

look at--so let utility be preferred over uniformity.”

--Sir Francis Bacon.

“Pumpkins, sir, are simply what they taste like.” --Anton Chekhov.

“Only two things are infinite, the universe & the colossal stupidity

of pumpkins--& I’m not sure about the former.”--Albert Einstein. 

Glenn Buttkus

October 2013

Posted over on dVerse Poets Poetics

Would you like for the author to read this pumpkin foolishness to  you?