Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Blackthorne--Scene Seventeen

image borrowed from bing


Cinemagenic Seventeen


“The streets of hell are paved with
good samaritans.”--William M. Holden.

1(sound cue) the room shaking as we hear something
hitting the wall in an adjoining room.
2(insert shot) the bottle of bourbon falling off the dresser
& breaking on the floor.
3(close-up) Buck, immediately angry.
4(close-up) Millie: not that bastard again!
5(sound cues) high notes on a saxophone, then rapid thumps
on a base drum.
6(medium wide-shot) saloon, upstairs hallway, Millie’s
closed door.
--Buck bursts into the hallway from her room, clad only
in his red breechclout.
7(sound cue) a woman’s scream, a man yelling.
--Buck steps up to the closed door, where all the
commotion is coming from.
8(sound cue) two thuds, incoherent yelling, squawk of a sax,
and more drum beats.
9(cut to interior) of the other prostitute’s room.
10(angle on the door) Buck kicks it open.
11(sound cue) wood splintering, hinges ripping off.
12(cut to medium two shot) a short man, dressed as a gambler,
is choking a half-naked blond woman, his belt around her neck,
forced to her knees, with him bending over her.
13(sound cue) french horn joining the sax.
--Gambler: bitch!
14(three-shot) Buck enters the frame, grabs the man’s nearest
arm, spins him around & rams a knee into his stomach.
15(sound cue) the blow from the knee, exhalation of breath
from the man.
16(angle on) the blond whore, choking, wheezing, untangling
the belt from around her neck. 
17(cut to medium shot) the gambler drawing a nickel-plated
short-barreled pistol.
18(close-up) gun discharges as Buck slaps it away.
19(angle on wall mirror) exploding to shards from the stray
20(sound cues) crowd noise mixing with snare drum.
21(close-up) Buck delivers a short jab to the man’s throat.
22(two-shot) over Buck’s shoulder, the man spins around
& collides with the dresser, clunking it against the wall.
23(sound cues) more breaking glass, punctuated by beats
on a xylophone. 
24(angle on the gambler) shot in slow motion--the man pulls
the lace dresser cover off as he is falling--& is showered with
picture frames, brushes & combs, cold cream & perfume
bottles as he collapses on the floor. 
25(cut to a two-shot) the blond whore on her feet, holding a
water pitcher over her head.
--blond whore: son-of-a-bitch--I’ll kill you!
--Buck slaps the pitcher out of her hand, drenching her in
water as he punches her in the chest.
26(close-up) water pitcher shattering on the floor.
27(angle on Buck) as he brushes her aside, and nearly
steps into a knife blade.
28(close-up) gambler: asshole! who tugged on your rope?
29(close-up) Buck: like to beat on women, do you?
30(sound cue-Voice Over) gambler: eat shit!
--Bucks knocks the knife out of the man’s hand & hurls
himself at the gambler.
--they collide with the wall.
--Buck punches him in the groin, then easily hoists the 
smaller man up onto his own wide shoulders, and spins
around twice--then tosses him through the closed window.
31(cut to angle on exterior of the window) slow motion shot
with smashed glass flying everywhere as the man passes
through it, rolling out onto & then down the slanted roof,
falling off the edge & out of the shot.
32(hold the shot) for two beats.
33(sound cue) blues guitar slide. 

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over on dVerse Poets OLN127

Would you like to hear the author read this Cinemagenic poem to you?


Brian Miller said...

ha. interesting...her reaction to being saved...his condemnation of hitting women and still hitting her...and interesting progression in his character...

Claudia said...

goodness... why did she wanted to kill him when he probably saved her life...ugh... tough times.. i like the use of instruments in this..the high tones on a sax def. can get your blood freezing

Mary said...

Enjoyed this brawl scene, Glenn. Your sound effects were great. And I can visualize all of the breaking glass. And throwing that man out of the closed window to roll off the roof - ouch!

Björn said...

I can see the film playing... oh yes what a brawl... and what glorious sound effects. ... I was sitting on the edge of my chair biting my nails.. so great to have the story back.

Grace said...

What a fight, what a complication, there's a lot of energy & sounds in this scene ~ Enjoyed this one, smiles ~

Gabriella said...

You have created a very vivid scene, Glenn! I enjoyed the action and the fact that all sounds have their roles.

Margaret said...

Quite believable! It's not a western without the music…

mrs mediocrity said...

So vivid, visual and aural.... A powerful combination.

Ronald Shields said...

A lovely tale of sordid sex and manly men in the wild west...and the musical score is great.

Andrew Kreider said...

Fascinating - the cinemagenic approach transforms the way you tell this story. Vivid and visceral. Really like how you handle this!

Pat Hatt said...

haha quite the old west romp. Another reason to stay away from gambling

Alex Dissing said...

This brought me back to watching Westerns with my grandpa. Those bar room brawls never get old.

billgncs said...

raw, like the West - never had much use for a man who would punch a woman.

Anonymous said...

That was a great read! Vivid and full of energy!

M. J. Joachim said...

So violent and intense…perfect for this wild west scenario!

Victoria said...

So well depicted. Good thing that these things don't happen at our poetry pub though! Or, do they, perhaps in poetry!? Well, yes.

Jenny Herner said...

Wow! A brawl never read so good!

Kate Mia said...

Well..my favorite show growing up was the wild..wild ..west..and well..of course no prostitutes there in the repressed half of last century..but never the less..

the action of this story..matches my experience of the wild..wild west...and i enjoyed it..

And by the way..love your batman..header..in my opinion..the true heroes of the world..usually experience darkness..as well as courage..

Happy New year 2ya2...