image borrowed from bing
“Life is the grimmest & the merriest motley of phantasmagoria
that will appeal to the gravest or maddest brush ever brought
to palette.”--Elizabeth Stuart Phelps.
For Harold Hare, the cities
where made up
and he never subscribed
to the notion that some creatures,
like sea horses, beavers, slugs & lady bugs,
endorsed; a silly theory
that cities were made up of burroughs; absolute clap trap.
In his harried world, fantasy
was not an illusion. Superman did wonderful
commercials for laser & spandex corporations.
Spiderman opened up a chain of
G.I. Joe & Sgt. Rock were WWA superstars.
Miss Buffy was a bed bug,
& she was skilled as a dust mite slayer.
Commericial icon Flo was banned
from ever mentioning any kind of insurance again,
& she became allergic to bright red lipstick.
All cars could talk, could
hold intelligent conversations with road graders;
none of this Your door is ajar crap.
John Deere ran for political office
& now is the senior Senator from Iowa. Alligators in Florida
& Louisiana went on strike, & the Everglades
were closed down & sold to Bill Gates
who turned it into a popular nudist colony.
Red dragons were discovered,
living in exile in condo caves
within Mt. Olympus in WA state,
& CA petitioned that they be returned to the Redwood Ghettos,
a place, according to a dragon spokesssserpent,
“We would rather burn down to red stumps than
be forced to live in again.”
Batman is selling gentleman’s dress capes
in a new department store in Cleveland,
while Robin, now grown up & bitter,
has shaved his head & turned
to the dark side, becoming a leader in a Neo-Nazi
compound at Hayden Lake, ID.
Captain America suddenly aged tremendously,
becoming 93 years old--something about
his Comic-Con expiration date;
so Ted Turner, ever the humanitarian,
hired Cap to be a
military consultant for CNN.
Air Bus is now manufacturing personal jet packs for commuters,
and has been testing them in the busy skies of Liverpool,
but there are nasty rumors
that drunken fliers have been buzzing innocent
pedestrians, & pouring state beer
on baby buggies.
Chickens, it has been reported, have resorted
to becoming prostitutes in Detroit,
& several Chicken Ranch Bordellos have become wildly
successful. Colonel Sanders has become a Pimp Daddy,
opening several Chicken Lingerie Shops, which
are now rivaling the infamous Sheep Lingerie Shops
in Montana. Glenn Beck has thrown his
considerable influence & support to the chickens, stating:
“There is nothing better than a threesome
with a pair of sexy Hen Whores.”
Yet another revival of the musical CATS
has been picketed by urban cats of all stripes,
carrying small signs that read:
Musical theater is demeaning to all felines.”
Fritz, the lead yowler of the punk group HAIRBALL HAREM,
is doing free concerts to raise funds for this effort.
Broadway producers have hired
Lassie & Rin Tin Tin as lawyers,
& we all know this high-powered duo of litigators always
get their teeth into the posteriors of the opposition.
Breaking News--Harold Hare is considering
putting together a luxurious line
of Lewis Carroll fashion jewelry, & he would welcome any
& all investors to step up ASAP.
Posted over on dVerse Poets Poetics
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