Thursday, July 31, 2014

Primordial Paradelle



image borrowed from bing


Primordial Paradelle

“The primordial sea indefatigably repeats the same words,
& casts up the same astonished beings on the same seashore.”
--Albert Camus.


Have you ever spent the night in the forest alone?
          Have you ever spent the night in the forest alone?
The noises from the darkness can be frightful.
          The noises from the darkness can be frightful.
The night noises from the forest, alone in the darkness
          can have you be the frightful.

Staring into the flames of your campfire,
          Staring into the flames of your campfire,
You thump the blade of your skinning knife.
           You thump the blade of your skinning knife.
You thump, staring into the blade of your campfire,
            skinning the flames of your knife.

Finally, unable to sleep; restless and angry,
            Finally, unable to sleep; restless & angry,
You & your knife leap into the shadows.
            You & your knife leap into the shadows.
Angry & restless, unable to leap into sleep--
            finally you, the knife, & your shadows.

The darkness can be angry, & finally frightful.
You have spent the night alone, staring 
into the forest. The shadows, the noises 
leap into your campfire flames; restless, unable 
to sleep, you thump your knife blade--
ever the skinning knife.

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets MTB

Would you like to hear the author read this Billy Collins' Paradelle to you?

19 comments:

Brian Miller said...

dude...love the 5/6 lines on the second stanza....the blade of the campfire skinning the flames...of your knife...how phrasing....

sounds like someone is going a little stir crazy in the outdoors...ha....having lived outdoors in the woods for a year...and growing up in the woods...i know the noises...and the psychosis...

this has an eerie tone to it man...well played on the form...

Björn Rudberg said...

Remember to tell me never to camp near you.. A camper with a skinning knife is way more frightening than all the nightly beasts.

Sumana Roy said...

this is some angry, dark, restless and scary night..wonderfully woven.. ...

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This reminds me of a camping trip I made in the long ago, complete with thumps and crashes and screams in the night.........well done, and steeped in mood!

quest4peas said...

This was brilliant...like a mad tale told to frighten children around a campfire...

Gabriella said...

Glenn, this poem is a new favorite of yours. I like what you write of the campfire experience and that last stanza is just perfect!

SilverGardenia said...

I love how everything fits together in your paradelle. It's amazing!

Mary said...

This is truly excellent, Glenn. And you worked such meaning into each stanza. The last stanza was excellent, making excellent use of all your previous strong images. Yours is one of my favorites of those I have read today.

Gabriella said...

PS - your poem has a Jack London quality to it!

Wolfsrosebud said...

ah... you haven't come out of the woods this week... you must be camping

Uneven Stephen said...

I love the way you stylized the poem. The italic lines play like an echo, and that's so cool playing off the outdoors "frightening" theme. Awesome.

Susan said...

Ah! a horror story! with knife!

Kathy said...

Sounds like something we used to sing or play - like cops and robbers or the legendary characters brought to life..like only you can do ..a spooky tale which you had fun with I'm sure! Well done!

Polly said...

Ooooh...spooky :)

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

Loved 'the blade of the campfire, skinning the flames of your knife' What a great visual - vivid and glorious storytelling again, Glenn! K

Myrna R. said...

I like the theme of fear, how you develop it so well within the restraints of the paradelle. You wrote a really good poem in spite of the restrictions. I enjoyed reading it.

RMP said...

very well weaved...the darkness can definitely be frightful, knife or not. the opening quote was a nice choice.

Bodhirose said...

This almost made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Your images and imaginings perfectly described a dark, lonely night in the woods. I enjoyed it very much!

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

I think this is absolutely wonderful! Congratulations on wresting this difficult parody form into an excellent poem.