image borrowed from bing
Primordial Paradelle
“The primordial sea indefatigably repeats the same words,
& casts up the same astonished beings on the same seashore.”
--Albert Camus.
Have you ever spent the night in the forest alone?
Have you ever spent the night in the forest alone?
The noises from the darkness can be frightful.
The noises from the darkness can be frightful.
The night noises from the forest, alone in the darkness
can have you be the frightful.
Staring into the flames of your campfire,
Staring into the flames of your campfire,
You thump the blade of your skinning knife.
You thump the blade of your skinning knife.
You thump, staring into the blade of your campfire,
skinning the flames of your knife.
Finally, unable to sleep; restless and angry,
Finally, unable to sleep; restless & angry,
You & your knife leap into the shadows.
You & your knife leap into the shadows.
Angry & restless, unable to leap into sleep--
finally you, the knife, & your shadows.
The darkness can be angry, & finally frightful.
You have spent the night alone, staring
into the forest. The shadows, the noises
leap into your campfire flames; restless, unable
to sleep, you thump your knife blade--
ever the skinning knife.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at dVerse Poets MTB
Would you like to hear the author read this Billy Collins' Paradelle to you?
19 comments:
dude...love the 5/6 lines on the second stanza....the blade of the campfire skinning the flames...of your knife...how phrasing....
sounds like someone is going a little stir crazy in the outdoors...ha....having lived outdoors in the woods for a year...and growing up in the woods...i know the noises...and the psychosis...
this has an eerie tone to it man...well played on the form...
Remember to tell me never to camp near you.. A camper with a skinning knife is way more frightening than all the nightly beasts.
this is some angry, dark, restless and scary night..wonderfully woven.. ...
This reminds me of a camping trip I made in the long ago, complete with thumps and crashes and screams in the night.........well done, and steeped in mood!
This was brilliant...like a mad tale told to frighten children around a campfire...
Glenn, this poem is a new favorite of yours. I like what you write of the campfire experience and that last stanza is just perfect!
I love how everything fits together in your paradelle. It's amazing!
This is truly excellent, Glenn. And you worked such meaning into each stanza. The last stanza was excellent, making excellent use of all your previous strong images. Yours is one of my favorites of those I have read today.
PS - your poem has a Jack London quality to it!
ah... you haven't come out of the woods this week... you must be camping
I love the way you stylized the poem. The italic lines play like an echo, and that's so cool playing off the outdoors "frightening" theme. Awesome.
Ah! a horror story! with knife!
Sounds like something we used to sing or play - like cops and robbers or the legendary characters brought to life..like only you can do ..a spooky tale which you had fun with I'm sure! Well done!
Ooooh...spooky :)
Loved 'the blade of the campfire, skinning the flames of your knife' What a great visual - vivid and glorious storytelling again, Glenn! K
I like the theme of fear, how you develop it so well within the restraints of the paradelle. You wrote a really good poem in spite of the restrictions. I enjoyed reading it.
very well weaved...the darkness can definitely be frightful, knife or not. the opening quote was a nice choice.
This almost made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Your images and imaginings perfectly described a dark, lonely night in the woods. I enjoyed it very much!
I think this is absolutely wonderful! Congratulations on wresting this difficult parody form into an excellent poem.
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