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Blackthorne
Cinemagenic 141
Counting Coup
“It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and
more lightning in the hand.” --Lakota Sioux Saying.
1(sound cue) Indian seed rattle over bones breaking.
2(two-shot) Buck bashed the thin face with a heavy
right fist, and the cheek caved in, and began to swell.
Paul sobbed pitifully. Buck raised his fist again.
Buck: Who hired them?
Paul: I don’t know!
Buck: That’s bullshit, Dandy Dan!
Buck jerked the gambler to a semi-sitting position,
pushing a fence post into his bony back. He buried
his knife into the wood inches from Paul’s face, and
slapped him again and again.
3(close-up) Paul: For God’s sake, Cash done it! Cash
hired them from down in the county! But I think you
already knew that.
Buck: I needed to hear you say it.
Paul: So now what?
Buck: Were you there?
Paul: Yeah, I was there. I held the horses.
Buck: Was Thor there?
Paul: Yes, goddamn it, yes...but we both lit a shuck
when you showed up.
Buck: You’re a gob of shit!
Paul: You’re a fucking nightmare.
Buck: Not yet.
Paul: You need to be put down like a rabid dog.
Buck: Not by the likes of you!
Paul: What?
Buck: Did you get a piece of ass tonight?
Paul: Don’t kill me.
Buck: You’re going to wish I had.
4(sound cue) bass drum and saxophone squawk.
5(tight two-shot) Buck punched him squarely in the
rib cage, breaking several. Then he smashed the
weak chin. Paul passed out. Buck felt at the big
artery in the gambler’s neck. Paul was still alive.
He extracted his thick knife from the fence post.
He split Paul’s nose, and then cut off both his ears;
slipping them into a medicine bag.
6(medium wide shot) To Buck’s left, the big
bunkhouse was lit up, but it looked empty.
Lights were lit in the main house, but the
upper floor was dark. The quieter backside
of the ranch house beckoned to him.
7(sound cue) guitar and harmonica.
Buck lunged from the corral, and sprinted
across the vulnerable space between him
and the shadows. He halted beneath an open
window. The thick shrubbery hid him. He
holstered his weapon, and put his ear to the
wall. No one seemed to be moving inside.
8(cut to wide shot) Monolith flames were raging,
as thirty men fought the fire.
9(one shot) Buck hoisted himself up, and crawled
through the window.
10(cut to interior) He had crawled into a vast library.
Expensive leather-bound colorful books filled three
walls, floor to ceiling. Two reading chairs and a
naturally-stained roll top desk furnished the room.
A tall pair of sliding doors sealed off the space. He
moved cautiously toward the exit. He slid one open
slowly. It revealed a dark hallway. He glided into
the thick shadows.
A great archway stretched out to his right. There
was a grand staircase leading to upstairs. The arch
led into a big living room, littered with several
cowhide-covered chairs and couches. There was a
mammoth fireplace cold with ash. Over it hung a
painting of the triple “B”s. the Bronson brothers--
Cash, Thor and Paulie, all in their finest church-
going threads, all smiling like royalty. The room had
tall bay windows that were steamed up and streaming
with sweat as the fire’s heat danced across the cold
glass.
Behind Buck was the kitchen. Two gaslights lit up
the room. Uneaten plates of food were spread out
on a linen table cloth atop a long table. The room was
empty. He strolled in and snagged a chicken leg from
a platter of tangled poultry. He munched it slowly as
his boots found their way back into the shadows.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at d'Verse Poet's Pub OLN
10 comments:
Oh.. one brother down... two to go... revenge is coming from the darkness, Love the description of the Bronson Mansion. I wonder why they needed books.
Hey Glenn, Bjorn's right - the description of the room is very well conjured - you certainly see it clearly and feel like your there...
And, as for your dialogue, what is there to say - always so visceral and real. God knows I've tried to write half decent dialogue myself too often and soon earn painfully just what a skill this is in itself. I am crap at it! Whereas the best stuff, like yours, just sounds right somehow and you cant' eevn see the joins - its like an alchemy to me and something i envy you very much...
Excellent descriptions. I love that last line!
I'm sure the books are just for show. I think Buck is being generous when he leaves any of the culprits alive. The scene with the knife and the cutting was hard to take. I have a feeling there will be more flames before this is all said and done.
Glenn I just heard you read the antlion poem on the live reading. Excellent job, it's a gut-twisting one to hear read.
I also heard you say you will be ending Buck's series by the end of the year. You're the writer and I can't stop you, but I've determined to go back to the beginning of your story and read through it. Of course, if Buck's will be done, it means you need to start a new story. Please? Pretty please?
I really enjoyed this.
A lot of contrasting images. Nice one
Happy you dropped by my blog today
Much π love
I am still fascinated with this series. You are masterful at visualization. I too wondered about the library, I think it is a sign of wealth. Keep it coming Glenn, I always come to read.
I hope you are well in your corner of the world.
peace and light
I think Tarantino would be happy to direct this scene, Glenn! You are keeping us on the edge of our seats to the very last...
Very fascinating! Enjoyed it very much.
This is absolutely kick-ass brilliant! Can't wait to see how Buck handles the rest- the interrogation scene feels so vivid and intense.. the rolling punches and rising tension as both men glare at each other. Wow! Just visualizing how good it will look on screen. ππ
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