image borrowed from bing
Blackthorne
Cinemagenic Fourteen
Bartering
“Almost all of our relationships begin as a form of mutual
exploitation, a barter, to be terminated when one or both
parties run out of goods.”--W.H. Auden
1(sound cue) banjo & piano, & someone singing a sad ballad
in a whiskey-soaked cigarette-smoking voice.
2(medium wide-shot) behind the bar, the bartender with his back
to the camera, a pump shotgun hanging on hooks to his right.
3(dolly up to the bartender, holding his POV) as we watch Buck
moving toward the bar, where three men are drinking morning
libations; a grizzled middle-aged wrangler, a gambler in a red
checkered vest, and a rummy in a soiled black waistcoat & rumpled
hat, a week’s beard stubble on his face.
4(cut to a reverse wide-shot) Buck’s big back & his POV, as he
halted for a moment to peruse three saloon girls sitting at a table.
5(sound cue) player piano.
6(medium close-up) the three nightingales; a tall flat-chested blonde
with large brown eyes and a scar over one painted eyebrow, a short
attractive plump redhead with big breasts heaving out of a red bustier,
and a dark-skinned Mexican beauty, wearing too much lipstick & a
revealing yellow peasant blouse.
7(close-up) Buck’s face, chin lowered, a wry smile beginning to sprout.
8(cut to medium shot) the saloon trio, all preening, sticking their chests
out, arms on their corseted hips, smiling with lipstick on their teeth.
9(cut to wide shot) from the guard’s platform, over the guard’s shoulder,
as we watch Buck finish his trek to the bar.
10(cut to medium close-up) the bartender wiping glasses with a blue
towel, a large overweight sweaty man, nearly as tall as Buck, long
greasy hair slicked back, parted in the middle, green garters on the
sleeves of his black-striped shirt, with a droopy unkempt mustache
and bad teeth.
11(sound cue) harmonica.
12(two-shot) Buck & the bartender.
13Bartender: what’s your poison, gent?
14Buck: short beer, my man.
15Bartender: panther piss it is--while drawing up a foamy-headed
glass of dark yellow beer.
16(medium close-up) as the short glass of beer slides up to Buck’s
leather-clad elbow, quivering to a stop, spilling a little on the bar.
17(voice-over) Bartender: that’ll be two bits, pilgrim.
18(medium close up) Buck fishes a twenty dollar gold piece
out of his tight pants, & plunks it onto the bar.
19(close-up) the twenty dollar gold piece, Lady Liberty’s face
staring left, the thirteen colony stars her laurel, 1857 the date.
20(voice-over) Bartender: out of twenty.
21(cut to a two-shot) as the redheaded saloon girl enters the
frame.
22Buck turns to stare down at her, standing only as tall as his
armpit, a pretty face heavily made up, wearing a black lace
evening gown, festooned with various beer & sweat stains;
her breasts the size of ripe cantaloupes, bulging seductively
out of her tight bodice, her neck & chest powdered, although
some bite mark hickeys were evident.
23Saloon girl: hi, big fella.
24Buck: mornin’.
25Saloon girl: wanna buy me a breakfast drink?
26Buck: damn rights.
27(sound cue) piano, accordion, & harmonica.
28(cut to a medium wide-shot) the frontier odd couple walking
over to an empty table. He sits first, and she immediately slides
onto his lumpy lap. The Bartender, who followed them, leaves a
watered-down drink for her & Buck’s change; which he scoops
up & tamps it into his leather shirt pocket.
29(two-shot) Buck & the prostitute.
30Saloon girl: honey, shoo-wee, you need a bath--giggling,
flashing nice straight teeth: I’m Millie.
31Buck: I’m horny--taking a swig of his beer.
32Millie; giggling again: nobody’s using the horse trough
out front this morning.
33Buck: would you like to scrub my dick?
34Millie, squirming, rubbing her butt across his aroused
lap, licking her lips, fluttering the paste-on long lashes over
her pale blue eyes, doing her best to look sexy.
35Buck: what’s a good hump going for this week?
36Millie: I’ll take the ride for five bucks, you get me & a bottle.
37(close-up) he fondles one of her huge breasts, pinkish-
brown freckles dancing as the breast breathed. She leans
down & chews delicately on one of his knuckles, flicking it
with her hot tongue.
38(sound cue) coronets playing the Deguello.
39Buck: lead the way, angel-boobs.
40(cut to medium wide-shot) Buck & Millie rise, & she anxiously
pulls him across the crowded room over to the wide stairway.
No one seemed to notice as they ascended the stairs.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over on dVerse Poets OLN122
Would you like to hear the author read this Cinemagenic poem to you?
8 comments:
Libations indeed.. you captured it all including the beer-stains.. always a joy to come here to read.. :-)
Hmmmm, this seems a rather unexpected turn!! Smiles.
Detailed and very crafty character sketch. It is actually like watching a movie on the screen or even better, walking with the camera bearer. :-)
-HA
Glenn your insistence on thisd form has gotten me to thinking of trying it myself though I don't know where I'd start. But you have mastered it completely and it works very well in telling not only the story of the subject of the shoot, but also in how we see things visually and aurally. >KB
nice... the scene with the redheaded bar girl..i'm wondering what she's up to and who she's really working for...ha...you can never be sure...
one thought...it maybe would be easier to read if you would make some stanza breaks...? just a thought...smiles
interesting...not sure i was expecting his brashness with her there in the end...i think she got a wiff of that money he was slinging and wanted a piece of her own...smiles.
Claudia, yes stanzas would simplify the reading, but that would violate the form; like a real screenplay, this form only takes Scene breaks; so like a classic form it takes some attention to fully appreciate the nuances, symbols, dialogue, free verse, & prose, in & around the sound cues, and shot designations. Sorry that it seems a bit bunched together. At least (smiles) I am consistent with it. In my novel, we are still moving along in the early chapters.
Angel boobs? OH MY! haha Well done my friend. Well done.
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