image borrowed from zag.wikidot.com
Blackthorne
Cinemagenic Forty-Five
Pact
“My husband & I did not sign a pre-nuptial agreement--
we signed a mutual suicide pact.”--Roseanne Barr.
1(two-shot) angle on Johnny:
--Deep sadness, yes, but beneath that bitter bark there is
still a son--a son that will breathe life back into ruins, who
will put magnificent horses back into those lush high meadows
at Antlered Buck.
2(reverse shot) angle on Buck:
--You’re telling me that at the end my father dreamed of horses?
3(sound cue) castanets & soft snare drum.
4(medium close-up) the Eagle: Yes, he dreamed so hard, he died
with hoof prints on his face.
5(close-up) Buck, his eyes becoming moist, his gaze far away.
6(two-shot) angle on Johnny: But do not think of that, he is in the
ground, food for the flowers we have planted in your family plot.
You are the last Buck; everyone else has left before you. You are
alone now, just like me.
7(sound cue) harmonica & horse’s hooves.
8(medium two-shot) Buck was quiet for a moment, drumming his
strong fingers, staring hard into the black agate orbs of the Indian.
Finally, he said: Will you work for me?
9(sound cue) coronet & snare drum bap.
10(medium close-up) as the thick knife from the Eagle’s left hip bit
deep into the top of the scarred table next to Buck’s hands.
11(quick cut to two-shot) nearly in the same instant, the buffalo
hunter came out of his chair, knocking it over backwards, the Colt
Thunderer cocked in his right hand, leveled at Johnny’s chest.
The Eagle rose slowly, his chair squawking as he stood up, never
losing eye contact, walking boldly up to the extended horns of the
buffalo, stopping when the barrel of the pistol aimed at his neck.
He calmly pushed the powerful pistol out of the way & thrust out
his calloused brown hand.
12(tight two-shot) angle on Johnny Eagle:
--As I have said, I am your man. I will proudly stand & fight beside
you, watching your back, being your companero.
13(sound cue) Indian branch flute & piano & hawk’s scree.
14(close-up) the fat hammer on the silver Colt clicked as it came safely
down, & with a flick of the wrist, it was re-holstered. There was a
firm handshake.
15(cut to overhead crane shot) all the Charros in the cantina re-holstered their
weapons.
16(medium close-up) Mateo: Jesus Christa, you hombres play rough.
17(sound cue) Laughing, loud voices, some clapping, & guitar strumming.
18(two-shot) angle on Johnny: Mierda, you are rattlesnake quick for a big man.
--angle on Buck: As are you for an old one.
They both sit down, with Buck picking up his chair. They sipped in silence.
Buck spoke first: You might say I’ve had a busy day.
--Johnny: Uh-huh, we heard about the wild buffalo raging loose in Bronson’s
pussy-pen of putas.
--Buck: Then the barber got himself plugged.
--Johnny: Yes, Mr. Barnes, a good man. I hear that he will live.
--Buck: I have to say it though--it ain’t going to be a Sunday picnic working
for me. Bronson has a small army of gunslingers.
19(medium close-up) Johnny: Sometimes I can hear my death song on the
winds of dawn; just the melody--no words yet.
20(close-up) Buck: Yeah, Pard--me too.
21(sound cue) seed rattle, harmonica, & cello.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over on dVerse Poets Pub OLN
16 comments:
The opening is pretty cool. Its like an invocation of prophecy. Dreamed so hard he died with hoofprints on his face. Cool use of imagery in dialogue. Ha. Seeing that knife smack in the table too would have been a moment that made me jump in the movie. Lol. Really cool dialogue throughout the whole thing man.
I like how they form their alliance.. there is that tension when you feel it could go either way,. to me it seems like a pivot point of the narrative.. maybe when the hunted become the the hunters.. hmm this is exciting.. and just 2 weeks till the next installment.
Always good to read how the story continues! You have really set a fine scene, captured the conversation, and worked out effective visuals and sound effects.
Sometimes I can hear my death song on the
winds of dawn; just the melody--no words yet.
Powerful lines.. got me wondering.. does nature give us signs?
What a confrontation as I would be quaking in my boots ~ That's guts for you ~
Specially like the ending too as it sounds very pragmatic: Sometimes I can hear my death song on the
winds of dawn; just the melody--no words yet.
Grace
The dialogue you use is incredible and genius.
ah! death is surely bittersweet and the songs all keep me calm and graceful.
Love! Love! your work and everything you do my friend. :)
These are my favorites:
Yes, he dreamed so hard, he died
with hoof prints on his face.
strong fingers, staring hard into the black agate orbs of the Indian
(sound cue) seed rattle, harmonica, & cello.
Wow, Glenn! Lots of tension in that scene. Loved it! I especially liked the image of the rest of the men in the bar putting the guns away, but this line was particularly beautiful:
Sometimes I can hear my death song on the
winds of dawn; just the melody--no words yet.
Woohoo. Mega moxie in this. I love the, he dreamed so hard, he died with hoof prints on his face...a good visual to think about, that knife in the table. sort of puts me in mind of Excalibur.
he dreamed so hard, he died with hoof prints on his face ... that's fascinating Glenn!
Lots of really great lines here, the hoof prints and the death song winds, really added to the tense drama of the moment. I think this was my favorite scene so far!
Well done. I especially liked this exchange:
" Mierda, you are rattlesnake quick for a big man.
--angle on Buck: As are you for an old one."
Ah yes.. the westerns of living on the
edge of death and life now to now..
of course how most animals
live.. never having
time to worry
about
who
has
most..
the fastest
gun continues
to live.. without
arms
of
course..
in dying quick..
Love lives longer
in arms of Life..
Courage and Kind
AND Living Life Free..:)
You evoke a strong emotional response in this one, Glenn--all enhanced by the music and sensory detail.
hoof, face, knife, gun - edge of my seat. fantastic ~
Interesting how the knife slammed into the table, and the gun at the neck all served to cement an alliance instead of animosity.
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