Vicki Loans-Arrow

Vicki Loans-Arrow

1972



1

this morning
me and my cousin
charlene lost-nation
are in to bobby simons bar
and charlene say
i tired of living
there aint nothing in it
and bobby simon
behind the bar
goes ha ha ha
when she fall off
the stool
im laughing too
she so drunk
she funny

2

i get her up
then she say
there aint nothing in it
to them old white farmers
drinking their beer
and talking crops
they don't listen
don't even look at her
bobby simon say
i see your mama out front
so we go out
and the sun so yellow
burn my eyes
and make charlenes mama
shiver like shes made
out of water
but it only the wind
all gold color
moving everything in waves

3

she say goddam you
charlene them kids of yours
come over and i got to
take them in
while you drunk all the time
i aint going to do it
no more
it too damn hot
i watch her shoes all torn
and wrinkly
and her fat legs
floating on the yellow wind
then charlene say
there aint nothing in it
it all plain shit
and we go back in the bar

4

we drink and she pulls
her face up tight
tells me it don't pay to think
theres something to it
cause there aint
and says wont nobody
never believe her
what she says
i just laugh
she so drunk
she funny

5

well me and bobby simon
drink some more
i seen charlene
when she gone to the can
she don't come back
pretty soon bobby simon
say i better check her out
so i go to see
i find her all right
sitting in a corner
theres blood on her mouth
and her chin
and down her dress

6

she looks at me
and i see the knife
sticking out between her teeth
and remember what that means
and i know shed like to die
but cant
so she killed her tongue
instead
i leave her there
i go out the door
and down the street
and the yellow wind
makes me shiver and sweat
because now i believe her
and wont never say so.


Copyright © 1976 by Marnie Walsh