Thursday, March 22, 2012

Litany for Limericks

painting by ken corbett

Litany for Limericks

I know a woman from Tacoma
who has a lovely stoma;
smoked four packs a day
before her voice went away,
and now she’s in a coma.

* * *

I had an old bitch with fleas
who loved to climb short trees;
dogs really can do that,
mine wears a red hat
and has two broken knees.

* * *

George Custer was a puny man,
who never was a real fan
of Sitting Bull’s dances
or his own actual chances
of ever visiting Iran.

* * *

Dreaming of being a movie star
but stuck drunk in a local bar,
the ladies you meet,
the agents you greet,
makes you dash for the car.

* * *

I could run like the wind,
always first at the end
of those hometown races--
now just a hundred paces,
my knees refuse to bend.

* * *

All pretty women pass me by
which certainly makes me cry;
perhaps I should bathe more,
or find me a willing whore,
and get her to say, “My, oh My.”

Glenn Buttkus

March 2012

Listed As #

Would you like to hear the author read this nonsense?


Mary B. Mansfield said...

Nicely done! Especially like the last one :)

Beachanny said...

Liked them all. They were lots of fun, boy fun. Be interested to see if Ms. Kane gives us critiques. But who could not love these? Right.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Thanks for joining in with your limericks on a fun assortment of topics! I hope you'll give my weekly Limerick-Off challenges a try.

Unknown said...

Glenn, great job with these, especially like the first two. Really funny stuff here. Thanks

Brian Miller said...

haha these were just as fun as your other...esp that last one...and the dog climbing short trees....

steveroni said...

On that last one...just leave a nice TIP! And you get "MY OH MY"!!!

Semaphore said...

There once was a poet named Glenn
Who did fabulous work with his pen.
With the rhymes, quite terrific,
And, my Lord, how prolific!
If you ask for a verse, you'll get ten!

Ginny Brannan said...

What fun!! Especially liked the race one! I can relate--after raking all afternoon, my knees no longer bend either!

PattiKen said...

These are awesome, especially the custer one. I love the surprising last line. Oh, and I'm totally with you on the knee issue.

Thanks for visiting and reading my effort at a limerick. ;-)

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Liked the last one too!

Anna :o]

Frank Watson said...

My last one for Glenn Buttkus
His series was well discussed
He wrote with verve
So perfectly served
One cannot be a gloomy gus

Paul Bauck said...

These are really bad. I groaned several times. Isn't that the point?