Pax Maximus

Pax Maximus

The last time
I was in church,
as I stood
with the rest
pretending to sing,
I noticed
a feminine form
in the pew ahead of me.

As I was practicing
certain mental calculations
concerning that form,
she reached
behind her,
and began to caress
a large muscle
situated approximately
in the center
of aforementioned anatomy.

Oh my God,
thinks I—
minds can be read!
She knows
what I am thinking.
Thought transference is
possible!

A little while later,
as we all sat again, I
noticed that I was
getting a bit squirmy,
and realized that,
because it was a warm
and humid day
she was just dealing
with sticky underwear,
and simply was
a bit less inhibited
than the rest.

Another triumph
of rational thought.
Science sure takes
all the fun
out of life.

Doug Palmer 2006