from "Vilify": Part IV

from "Vilify": Part IV

1.
According to the official White House
website, Andrew Jackson was "born in a
backwoods settlement in the Carolinas in
1767 (where he) received sporadic education.
But in his late teens he read law for about
two years, and he became an outstanding
young lawyer in Tennessee. Fiercely
jealous of his honor, he engaged in brawls,
and in a duel killed a man who cast an
unjustified slur on his wife Rachel."
Don't you just love that adjective,
"unjustified"? Can you imagine a criminal
defendant using that in a courtroom today?
"How do you plead, Mr. Jackson?"
"Not guilty by reason of wife slurring."
"Excuse me?"
"The dude I shot--"
"His name is Charles Dickinson."
"Yes, well, I shot Charles Dickinson because
he slurred by wife."
"Pardon me?"
"Man was slurring--talking shit--about my wife.
I can't have that."
"What did he say?"
"Well, first of all, he said I cheated him on a
horse race bet. He called me a coward and
an equivacator."
"Okay, he insulted you, but what about your wife?"
"He called her a bigamist."
"That is a terrible insult."
"Yes, it is, it's not her fault that her first
husband lied when he said he had finalized
their divorce."
"Wait, hold on a second. Are you telling me
that your wife was already married when she
married you?"
"Technically speaking, yes."
"So she was married to two men at the same time?"
"Yes."
"So, she was, in fact, a bigamist."
"But, your honor, she was only technically a
bigamist."
"So if the deceased had called her a technical
bigamist, that would have been an accurate if
unkind, statement and not an unjustified slur?"
"Okay, okay. I get your meaning, but the thing
is, Mr. Dickinson then published a statement in
the NATIONAL REVIEW and called me a worthless
scoundrel and a coward. He twice called me a
coward. So I challenged him to a duel."
"I see, Mr. Jackson. Well, I understand that
you've been involved in a few previous duels."
"I have."
"How many duels would you estimate that you
have fought?"
"Oh, I couldn't guess at such a thing."
"People have said it's somewhere between five
and one hundred duels."
"I couldn't argue with that. In fact, if you're
forcing me to hazard a number, I'd say the
number of duels I've fought is somewhere in
between five and one hundred."
"So, in essence, it would be accurate to say
that you enjoy shooting at people?"
"I feel that it is my duty to challenge
people who have besmirched my honor or the
honor of my family or the honor of my friends
or the honor of my country."
"I see. Well, eyewitnesses to your duel with
Mr. Dickinson testify that, after he shot you
in the chest, your pistol misfired. Now,
according to dueling etiquette, that meant
the duel was over. And yet, as eyewitnesses
testify, you violated etiquette, reloaded the
weapon, and shot and killed Mr. Dickinson.
How do you respond to these charges?"
"I would say that people see what they need
to see."
"A dozen eyewitnesses have testified against
you, Mr. Jackson. A dozen eyewitnesses
dispute your version of the events. It is
twelve against one. What do you have to
say about that?"
"I'd say that one man with courage makes
a majority."

2.
Andrew Jackson was also the architect of
the Indian Removal Act of 1830, which gave
the president power to negotiate the removal
of Indian tribes living east of the
Mississippi. Among other thefts, blackmails,
and broken treaties, the most tragic result
of this legislation was the Trail of Tears,
in which 7,000 U.S. troops forced 16,000
Cherokee Indians to march west to new
lands. Over 4,000 Indians died of cold,
hunger, and disease during the march.


Sherman Alexie

from his book FACE.