Sunday, October 9, 2011

Love Hurts: Scene Seven

image borrowed from bing

Love Hurts: Scene Seven

Cinemagenic Seven


1(medium shot) desert sun low
on the blanched horizon.
2(wide shot) frisky pair of coyotes running,
darting between the gray-green sagebrush.
3(sound cue) animals panting.
4(close up) reddish coyote’s head,
tongue lolling.
5(sound cue) drum roll.
6(medium shot in slow motion) two coyotes running,
muscles rippling, tails in the wind,
running flat out.
7(sound cue) twin glass packs riffing.
8(medium shot) camera rises up over
the sagebrush tops to reveal the red impala
roaring along.
9(camera zooms in) we see the three figures inside,
through the dust.
10(three shot over the hood, into windshield)
the two men staring silently; woman behind them.
11(sound cue) harmonica slide.
12(close up) tasha: you guys from around here?
13(two shot) lester turning in his seat
to face the woman.
14(two shot) over tasha’s shoulder--lester:
Shit no, we’re just traveling through.
15tasha: where are you from?
16(close up) lester: you name it,
we fucking been there.
17(close up) owen spits out a toothpick.
18(two shot) lester: man, there was one time
in Vegas--fuck me...
19(medium close up) tasha, forcing a smile.
20lester (VO): we were damned lucky to get out
of there with our asses intact.
21tasha, smile fades.
22(sound cue) Johnny Cash singing,
”killed a man in Memphis,
just to watch him die.”
23(two shot) over lester’s shoulder: you know,
lady, you were just goddamn lucky
that we came along when we did.
24(close up) lester’s stare turning hard,
25(sound cue) heather moans softly
in her fitful sleep.
26(sound cue) saxophone low notes.
27(wide shot) impala moving toward the camera;
flicks it’s lights on.
28(insert shot) late afternoon sun beginning
to take on a red-orange tint
29lester (VO): you little ladies could have been
in a world of hurt, ten kinds of bad.
30(medium shot) owen removing his sunglasses.
31lester (VO): with a sweet kid like you got there,
you gotta be extra careful.
32(insert close up) bob’s face, angry brows:
33bob: who gives a rat’s ass what you think.
Did I ask you to think? Zip it
or I’ll do it for you!
34(insert shot) dark shadows lengthening
from a tall cactus.
35lester (VO): christ, anything can happen
out here--believe me we know.
36(sound cue) jazz bass thunking.
37(close up) owen’s glancing into
the rear view mirror.
38(close up) tasha in the mirror,
then image shifting down
to the slumbering child.
39(medium close up) tasha looking up
and seeing that owen
was staring at heather.
40(reflection in the mirror) owen’s eyes moving
back up to her face, then boldly, coldly,
holding her gaze.
41(sound cue) a rabbit’s death squeal
probably within the talons of a hawk.
42(medium close up) lester: are you sure
this is the right road?
43(medium wide shot) POV from the front seat,
impala turns swiftly onto a side road.
44(insert shot) family of quail squawking,
scurrying to get out of the way of the vehicle.
45(sound cue) acoustic guitar chord.
46(medium shot) from inside the car,
short bumpy ride moving
toward an abandoned school house.
47(close up) impala grill and headlights
as the car stops.
48(sound cue) tires sliding, brakes thunking.
49(medium shot) the side of the school,
the headlights illuminating
some kid’s spray paint graffiti.
50(close up) on the graffiti, two words:
51in red paint: Love Hurts.
52owen (VO): we’re here!

Glenn Buttkus

September 2011

Listed as #27 over on Magpie Tales 86

Would you like to hear the author read this poem to you?
Part One

Part Two


moondustwriter said...

nice scene though I dont know how it fit with the picture prompt at Magpie tales

Glenn Buttkus said...

This is the seventh entry in my
poetic series, Love Hurts, which
ultimately becomes a complete
short film; so the last six weeks
I have disregarded the prompts
in order to investigate this new
genre; cinemagenics.

Glenn Buttkus said...

I am not the first magpie to
disregard the prompt, or to
run a thread, or series, of poems.
We still are a community of
poets who care about each other,
and each other's work.

Anonymous said...

Hey can you please post a link to Love Hurts: Scene Two? I can't seem to find it.... :(

izzy said...

Really fun! I like it Thanks.

Glenn Buttkus said...

Anonymous: Here is the link for LHS2:

Susan Gilmour said...

Good Morning Glenn:

Scene Seven is nasty, but effective. I'm reading, I'm reading! Question, who's "bob" in line 32?
If it's not too much of a disconnect...

Brian Miller said...

oh hell man...the smile falling from her far...the rearview mirror glance...and that closing shot of the graffiti is genius...really great continuation...

Brian Miller said...

an you tell'em man...ha

Ann Grenier said...

Hi Glenn,
I've been scanning your pieces each week. Appreciate your talent in this genre...just kinda miss some of your previous intellectual(?) stuff. Hope my honesty does not offend ...different strokes and all that.Didn't want you to think I wasn't heading right over here to read for the last several weeks. Thanks for visiting knot in line :-)

Jim Robbins said...

Caravansary got meat balls: Haiku

1Bob's school of hard knocks
2Tagged with graffiti - red, zen
3“Zipless shags right here!”

Glenn Buttkus said...

I am having a ball with this
project, for it was a film script
that was bare bones over a
decade ago, and like my manuscripts
for two novels unpublished, I
had dreamed of rewriting even
them in this new form, part poetry,
part real film structure, new genre.
This thread, although a bit zealous
and ambitious and possibly arrogant
of me to foist off on the magpies,
will run for some more weeks.

Brian Miller said...

was wondering when i jumped over earlier...its a lot of fun to revisit this as you very creatively use things to build the the birds scattering....the graffiti is still genius second time around...ha...

Claudia said...

another wonderfully detailed built when can we expect your first movie....smiles...and i too loved the kids graffiti in the close

rumoursofrhyme said...

Missed this last week, so took time to catch up before reading part eight. The way you build teh tension is superb.

Just one teeny point though; isn't it Reno in Fulsom Prison Blues?