Tuesday, December 6, 2011

As I Sit, Vulnerable

painting by savannah colleen

As I Sit, Vulnerable

this is the place I can let it all out
as you sit beside me
privy to my past
when I open my mouth
it tells the story of
ancient ruins journaled through time
I talk to you, you talk to me
in confidence
but no words come out, only thoughts
resounding through the high-pitched drill
echoes in the valley of regret
I beg for your understanding, say I wish I’d listened
all those years ago, heeded the warnings
I thought were for someone else

no, not me
that won’t happen to me
I won’t live to regret what I’m doing now
some twenty years later
because I’m too self-absorbed, eternally
I have my arms wrapped around this little secret
I keep hidden in the bosom of
while I strive for
because what’s inside is nothing but
spinning cycles of
soak, spin, rinse, repeat
or should I say
as I flush freedom down the toilet

that’s how I thought back then
but now, twenty years later,
I’m the older woman with
running deeper than decay
sitting in this uncomfortable
comfortable chair

as you work on me like a welder
and say at least my gums are healthy

I wonder what you really think

laurie kolp

Posted over on her site Bird's Eye Gemini
Listed as #9 over on dVerse Poets-Open Link 21

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