It Happens Like That

image borrowed from bing

it happens like that

"he would never know," janey thought, "and even if he did find out, he would never let on he knew because he didn't want to lose his position in the boy scouts when he got home, he was an eagle scout, you know, one of the high and the mighty no doubt, a radcliffe by birthright, you know and he had a collection of sgt. rock comics and lionel trains that his father and he set up in our living room at christmas," she was 19 and naive about the importance of a male's rights of passage having been raised with only sisters by a domineering mother who complained to her husband that there were hobos in the woods and stewart was after all a radcliffe whose father was a railroad man through and through a great detestor of hobos, and being a radcliffe male had war in his genes and loved reading about great battles in his funk and wagnalls encyclopedia where he learned to have great expectations of women like eva gabor and warriors like clark gable and dreamed of having sons who would go to war and return only minorly wounded...

oh yes, he knew nothing about women really but read kipling and tennyson, janey was his first and on the first night and last night before he left to be inducted, there wasn't much time, you see, for them to get to know one another in the marital way, he was amazed by the girth of her hips and liked to pull on her bones to make her fit his awkward approach and she thought about attending goldey beacom college to be an ideal secretary at a factory or bill collection agency if the railroad wasn't hiring, but she never did because she got plenty of money to make her happy from the government checks stewart sent her and anyway the radcliffe's would never allow her to do without, she wasn't a hippie even though the times called for it because it was the 1960's, her favorite tv show was bewitched and her favorite movie gidget on the beach, she was from christiana in the amish country where they left their flags out even after the fourth of july but still lowered them at night and raised them in the morning, everybody she knew voted for richard nixon, before her family moved to downingtown where her father found work in the papermill, at least that was stewart's parents' rationale when they approved the marriage that she although not of the radcliffe brand or proper stock, more like a farmer's wife or clockmaker's spouse, at least she was patriotic and must have been at least half way mennonite since they were sure they had heard her once or twice speak pennsylvania dutch...

stewart's great grandfather had invaded puerto rico during the spanish-american war with general miles, left a child there when he left the service for a while to be a mayordormo on a farm, the child named little george or georgie left the island to find his daddy and wound up running rum into hoboken during prohibition, they would often talk about little georgie who when things got too hot in hoboken would hide in atglen and speak his spanish and run to the cornfield when he saw a motor car coming amongst the horse and buggies, it was rumored, georgie ended up with cement slippers in the hudson river because no one saw him again after uncle george returned to puerto rico and disappeared with that so-called catholic woman his first wife used to call her, "it was horrible she was a catholic," she would complain, "that's almost as bad as being negro," she thought...

his grandfather fought in world war 1, rode a horse in the cavalry and left the family a long silver sword that they hung over the fireplace mantel to remember him and his french woman who had his child named marcel who died of measles before he was twelve, his father fought in world war 2 and korea, and no one knew if he left a child in asia, he became famous in the philadelphia enquirer when a reporter took a picture of him crossing a river with his arms above his head holding his m1 carbine, he too was a lieutenant, his father's brother joey fought in the battle of the bulge and lost a kidney but died of pneumonia working for kelloggs in kalamazoo, michigan then there was the drunken uncle harry who never got over being frost bitten and arriving too late to liberate a german concentration camp, this uncle they didn't talk much about, he killed himself but the radcliffe's said he slipped on a rope, he found work at the post office and collected first day covers of stamps, how unlike the radcliffe brand to take your life by your own hand, anyway he wasn't the same man who left in 1944 as he was when he hung himself in the garage, his other uncle haines joined the navy and married his best friend's wife after his friend was hit by a drunk driver on his way to ship out, and now it was his turn to fight in viet nam, go to college for a year, maybe millersville, so he could be an officer, enlist, and live happily ever after, war was in the radcliffe blood, even the women were gold star mothers who only married pennsylvania germans with names like kurtz, klaus, beck, and oberholster...

his wife, janey, became pregnant while he was in nam, his mother and father said, "what do we tell the neighbors? what do we tell our german relatives who live along the conestoga?" janey was only trying to help by telling them one sunday evening at the dinner table, but the radcliffe's thought she should be quiet, be their war bride in the attic, give back and return the favor of carrying the radcliffe name, by not opening her mouth, go and live in oil city, pennsylvania for a while with his great aunt della who lost her son too, his second cousin, when a chinese machine gun down from manchuria caught him unexpectedly near the yalu at their border, great aunt della would keep her under her umbrella until she had the baby and then pretend, if his hair was a different color to blame the meharg side of the family who was scotch-irish and god only knew what color their hair might be being mongrels more or less to some degree...

the neighbors promised to watch out for stewart while he was in vietnam on a hill with a radio calling in coordinates, they'd come and visit janey and keep her company, first lieutenant stewart radcliffe, was hit in the ass, that's where he earned his purple heart and became a first lieutenant, he was eating a tastycake and reading her letter when the mortar hit, best place to be shot he would often laugh at indiantown gap where he met another girl named nancy after the war after he reenlisted in the national guard, he would pull down his pants and show the big purple shrapnel scar that all the other national guarders admired but as he got older and his ass got fatter aftr he moved to sunny florida, the wound began to bulge and look like a woman's nipple on his ass...

the neighbors would watch his wife return home from her waitress job at zinn's diner to make sure she got in the house alright, she would always remember to bring home pie, young, blonde, from Downingtown, 19, and his brother richard, 14, liked to watch her spin at family picnics and play in the swimming pool with inflatable toys and watch her breasts almost fall out of the top of her swimsuit when she jumped on the plastic inflatable boat while he popped a boner to the tune of louie louie on wfil radio and jerry blavat, it was a last wonderful summer they would have and they would pray before dinner for stewart to return home safely even when he volunteered for three more months extra duty, that made them worry, she always wore a dress but never jeans and richie preferred hamburgers to hot dogs at these picnics and waited with burger in hand for janey to get up always spreading her legs, his uncles, they too were veterans, would smile and say things like "amazing" when their wives weren't listening commenting upon how lucky stewart was to have a wife so wholesome, they liked to tease her and she liked to be teased but because she was so naive she didn't know when to stop and go into the house with the women and do her duty in the kitchen, the men always got the best of her, when she got his letter that he signed up for three more months, i think that was when she had enough of the radcliffe style of patriots...

and always with a smile sometimes tired she would play whiffle ball with stewart's brother richie in the backyard after eating while the men played pinochle and the women drank coffee, no one knew what was in her belly growing and when she had gas it must have been the mayonnaise in the potato salad, richie would throw the ball at her strike zone body and loved to hear the ball slap her hip and she would throw it back girlishly lefthanded, she knew he liked to watch her body move, richie thought she was groovy a word he used because it was the 1960's, he would ride in the back seat with her when his mom and dad took her to buy groceries at the a and p with the money his brother sent her from vietnam, his little finger touching, barely touching the nylon on her knee, leaning closer to her when the car went around a bend, "move over" she whispered so that no one in the front seat would hear her, they played the radio too loud so that no one heard them fighting politely while the phillies went into extra innings with their favorite pitcher jim bunning pitching, richie would pop a boner just sitting next to janey too, but his little sister heard janey say, "move over," some how she knew and hollered, "mommy, richie's touching janey," sending his boner down jsut about at the time when jim bunning was taken out, janey didn't mind, she knew stewart's parents even though they had their doubts about her and the phillies chances of ever winning a pennant, they would continue to make excuses hoping for her to grow up and lose that country girl side of her become a full blooded radcliffe with a split level home and jealous relatives...

one day they asked her to babysit richie's little sister and to take richie to his baseball game, she drove a white chevy impala that stewart had bought her from uncle bud at the OK used car lot that bud managed in lancaster, richie missed the game that day because his sister would always watch lassie and disney in the living room on sunday night and janey feeling everything was safe and secure took a bath even though she wasn't sweaty or dirty, but left the door just open, just open, so that she could hear, of course, if richie and his sister needed something, and as she was getting into the tub, she saw richie looking through the little bit of door she left open, and she slowly slid into the water, it was the first time richie saw the anatomy of a woman, richie occasionally glanced back to the living room and their first color tv to see if his sister was still watching disney or if his sister was crying because lassie was dieing, when he heard the theme song of disney "the world is a wonderland of color," he knew he still had a half an hour to watch her with his boner...

one night richie was mad at his parents and threatened to run away, they said ok see you later and he walked to janey's house for comfort and knocked on her bedroom window, she was up quickly as if scared or surprised the street light on her breasts and grabbed her nightgown to cover as she went to the window saying "richie" while somebody turned over and covered themselves with the blankets on the bed, she told richie it was her cousin and to go home that everything would be all right, richie believed her, she smiled and richie knew he would never tell that he had knocked on her window, made a late night visit so late at night, or about the cousin she had in her bed who hid from the light on the street, richie went home, went to bed, and got up late for school and of course, with a fourteen year older's eternal boner...

and she would let her neighbors know especially the one down the street who was an older woman who liked horses and liked to burn wood in her outdoor fireplace that she was doing fine, after everybody knew she was pregnant, she lived with the older woman for some years with her baby, they became lovers and everybody was so sorry that such a pretty girl like janey had become a lesbian except for richie's second cousin, uncle johnny's daughter who dressed like a man and pumped gas in the west end and knew all about carburetors and always ate breakfast at the little chef, the sheriff down the street would help her paint and occasionally carry her groceries, he too paid his visits, the married man down the street would help her too, the married man's wife was patriotic, they would talk and leave her corner house at late hours, richie always thought they were talking about something deep like how much she missed his brother, and the man who worked construction too would help her, during the summer when she opened her windows, richie would hear him pounding something on the wall with his hammer...

until one day at the east goshen community fair, he hadn't seen janey in a while, far enough away from parkesburg, atglen, and christiana not to be detected, richie saw her in a black leather jacket harley motorcycle style, with a tall thin man with a goatee and he wondered how his brother pulled off mailing her a baby when he looked below the teddy bear the man had won her, her belly already was round and swelling...

"shit happens like that," the corporal in the trailer in Da Nang told first lieutenant stewart radcliffe when he went in to change his beneficiary, mail divorce papers, and stop his checks from coming, "shit just happens, come on, sir, she's only nineteen and too young to be left alone so long." the corporal asked him if those extra three months were worth it and in radcliffe style he said he did it for his country, the corporal smiled, stewart wrote richie a letter asking him to make sure he got his collection of sgt. rock comics from janey because someday like his baseball cards they would be worth something, before she moved out of the house but she had already left them on the kitchen table and when he returned their mother told him she had thrown them out because she didn't want richie ever to fight in viet nam and that the radcliffe collection of purple heart medals must be stopped...

years later richie found the comics in the attic along with private letters, his father's divorce papers, old pay stubs from his years working on the railroad, and some pictures of a beautiful woman he had married in seoul south korea, left her annulled in louisiana, before he moved to back to pennsylvania and married his scotch-irish methodist mother...

janey married the man with the goatee who liked harley's after tiring of her motherly lesbian lover, he opened the first head shop in coatesville and struggled with drug addiction before opening a health food store in lancaster county, near willow street that caters to senior citizens, janey became a hippie maturing late in life but never did drugs, her husband would say later how much he admired stewart for how he handled the situation and that he would make sure his sons too became boy scouts and worked hard to earn their eagle scout badges but didn't think they would join the army because they had become seven day adventists...

first lieutenant stewart radcliffe remarried, he met a girl, nancy, while in the reserves from tamaqua pa who always told him "shut up," but she did sing nice christmas carols and knew the best fishing holes near catawissa, the radcliffe's called her a hillbilly because her father had been a coal miner in centralia so he divorced her too and moved to florida as a retired captain, married a school teacher with a masters degree in special education, had two daughters who played soccer and a son on oxycotin, and opened a successful chain of army and navy stores called the soldier's closet.

Theodore Daniel Richards

Posted over on his site 8th Avenue South
Listed as #34 over on dVerse Poets-Poetics Saturday