image borrowed from bing
Encounter
I, who have driven bone lonesome
across the dark desert spine
along the two lanes of California 395,
speeding flat out into the clamped maw,
across the dark desert spine
of another mysterious pre-dawn,
speeding flat out into the clamped maw,
my yellow Pinto charging bravely forward
of another mysterious pre-dawn,
breakneck and fearless as my eyes cleared,
my yellow Pinto charging bravely forward
between Edwards AFB and Area 51;
I, who have driven bone lonesome
between Edwards AFB and Area 51
racing toward the light like a man moth
along the two lanes of California 395.
Glenn Buttkus
August 2012
Posted over on dVerse Poets-FFA
Would you like to hear the author read this Pantoum for you?
20 comments:
i like the turn of phrase, bone lonesome...cool on that...and the form lends well to your tale and the pacing...love your word choice ..maw
I agree with Brian in regard to 'bone lonesome.' This poem gives me a lonely feeling all around....nice pantoum.
Fire up and let's get down the lonesome trail!
Here's another vote for bone lonesome. Very nice.
ha..i agree on the bone lonesome as well..nicely done sir...smiles...so you're not a rule bender..eh..? smiles
Loved this, very funny poem. Awesome to work in an Area 51 reference and I could just picture the yellow Pinto speeding down the highway lol
bone lonesome is an awesome phrase, and your pantoum creates a very vivid picture. My knowledge of America is confined to films, so I lapped up your poem avidly.
Man-moth making bee-line for the light...and lonesome! SOME GOOD STUFF here!
And Tonto! "Does white man foot point in or out?" (Only Tonto knows!)
PEACE!
Would you consider to drop the word verification? PUHLEEZE? Two time, this will be my third try--after that...forget it. I still like your work!
Loved the live read. I too adore, BONE LONESOME, needs to be a title of a great book, movie, CD, or even poem:) Superb. The journey was entertaining.
Wonderful use of the form. You've found just the perfect blend of metaphor to express not only the expanse of desert emptiness, but the expanse of emptiness in between the stars.
Very cool! Wonderfully done pantoum. k.
"another mysterious pre-dawn"
The pantoun repetitions give the sense of riding in your car across the spine and like a moth, pulled to the light, over and over again for a long long time--unless of course, like a moth, you get too close to the light.
Very fine.
From the title to the journey, I thought this fantastic! So many images churned up for me..but it's the lonesome run through those desolate and unacknowledged places produce the best poetry.
This is fantastic, in the literal sense. Driving through there is just like that.
I love that line racing toward the light like a man moth. Makes me wonder who he might encounter in area 51.
I find this to be a very moving line, Glenn:
"I, who have driven bone lonesome"
The word "bone" always gets me ... it digs straight into the heart, soul, spirit, essence of a person.
Beautifully done!
Just wanted to let you know I've missed you this week. I hope all is well.
A belated Excellent
Hungrily awaiting the next wave of pomes
Wow. Glenn, I see you've been on a glorious roiling roll lately...and I LOVES it! :>
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