Thursday, December 15, 2016

Blackthorne--Scene 55

image borrowed from


Cinemagenic Fifty-Five


“So, in the way of writing without thinking, thou hast
a strange alacrity in sinking.”--Thomas Sackville.

1(wide crane shot) behind the five riders, with Buck 
& the Eagle facing off against them.
2(sound cue) Cheewa growling.
3(medium close-up) One of the wranglers : 
I may have to shoot that damn dog.
4(overhead drone shot ) high above the seven men,
then descending down toward them. A buzzard flew
across the frame half-way down.
4(sound cue) wings flapping over seed rattle.
5(two shot) Johnny’s flushed face & Buck’s knitted 
6(medium close-up) Buck : Your land, you say, since when?
7(sound cue) piano chord--off key.
8(medium close-up) Bronson : Ever since I’ve been running
my herds out here.
9(tight close-up) Buck : Just how long has that been 
going on?
10(two-shot) Over Buck’s shoulder, Bronson : Hell, it must 
be over a year now.
11(voice-over) Thor : More like two years.
Bronson: Yeah, I think you”re right, brother.
12(four-shot) Johnny : As far as we knew, all this was open 
range. Thor spat : Now you know different !
13(sound cue) saxophone & snare drum.
14(medium close-up) Johnny Eagle : Alright, gents, how’s it 
going to be?--his voice was like a taunt cello string, his 
cheeks fluttering, his body one tight muscle.
15(medium wide shot) Johnny & Buck with their backs 
to the camera, as an awkward second creeps by.
16(tight close-up) Buck flicked off the snap on his holster 
holding his sawed-off side arm.
17(camera pans smoothly, swiftly) over the faces of the five 
riders; they all saw him.
18(medium solo-shot) Bronson rose up slowly in this stirrups,
the fancy leather creaking, crossed his right leg over the neck 
of his palomino, then leaned on his elbows, staring intensely
at Buck, before smiling broadly : Well, Christ on a sawhorse. 
let’s all take a breath here. I’m sure that you boys worked 
real hard collecting these shabby ass jackrabbits.
19(close-up) a prairie dog stuck its head up from his burrow,
chirped, & ducked back down out of sight.
20(medium close-up) You god damn rights we did !! snapped
Johnny, his anger smoldering in his eyes.
21(two-shot) over Johnny’s shoulder as Bronson calmly
continued to smile, the man on the high pommel, in control--
Now I want you fellows to understand, I am still hoping to 
keep this visit in the “warning” category.
22(sound cue) French horn & banjo.
23(tight close-up) Bronson : The only problem is, it just 
would not sit right with my men if I was to let you off Scot-
24(two-shot) Buck & the Eagle stood in silence--waiting.
25(close-up) Bronson : I’ll tell you what, in order to make
everybody happy, how about this--you give me the 
Appaloosa--and thank-you by the way for capturing him, my 
own crew couldn’t get it done--and for the present I’ll just 
pretend not to see those other jugheads.
26(close up) Johnny, through clenched teeth : How about this
--you eat shit & live.
27(medium wide crane shot) Bronson remained in the saddle,
but the other four men rose up in unison & slowly 
stepped off their mounts.
28(sound cue) muted coronet bleats.
29(two-shot) Bronson: Not a smart play, Johnny.
Thor : You fucking breed, we could take all the horses, and 
then stake your sad butt on a fire ant hill
30( quick-cut, angle on Buck) I wouldn’t do that if I were 
31(sound cue) snare drum bap & seed rattle.
32(medium wide shot) Thor turned toward Buck, his hands 
on his hips just above his gun belt, his voice low & calm
: I don’t know you, Hoss, but believe me, unless you want to die 
today,  you need to stay out of things that are not your concern. 
This business is between this damn Indian & my brother.
33(two-shot) over Thor’s shoulder--Buck : I’m sorry, fella, but
you’re all mixed up.
34(medium close-up) Bronson : What are you jawing about?
35(close-up) Buck : Johnny Eagle works for me. These are 
my horses. He can’t give you anything. You need to deal 
with me.
36(three-shot) Bronson, to Johnny : Is this true?
Buck set his jaw, & the Eagle nodded yes, eying the
Rifle near his bed roll, & flicking his thumb across the 
sharp edge of his throwing knife.                          

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub OLN


brudberg said...

What a great tension in this piece... I have really looked forward to this installment, and here we are left with yet a cliffhanger. The scenery here adds so much to what happens. I can almost smell gunpowder waiting... Have a wonderful Christmas.

Pleasant Street said...

I always enjoy these scenes. But it's the first time I've been back for awhile, I think I need to read back some. Very exciting, I want to watch John Wayne now

Sanaa Rizvi said...

Love the gripping pace and tension building in this - fantastic installment to the series, Glenn. Wishing you and your family Merry Christmas❤️

Grace said...

Always admire the background music and details, while they are having a conversation or rather a tense confrontation ~ Enjoyed this one Glenn ~ Made me recall the western movies of my younger days~

ZQ said...

I'll be back to re-read the 60's had their effects. :)

Victoria said...

Very effective action in this in which you involve so many senses. I can hear those buzzards dive-bombing, for example. I love the west and we DVR old westerns. I had a terrible crush on Clint Walker when I was a young teen--maybe I told you that before. Kind of an obsession, I suppose.

Marina Sofia said...

I've been on a very short screenwriting course, Glenn, and now I can appreciate even more what you are doing here. I love the way you incorporate the shots and the background music to add to the tension.