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Rubaiyat of Omar Jones
“The moving finger writes, and having writ,
moves on.”--Edward Fitzgerald.
Omar was a big man, quite wide of
shoulder, narrow at the hips, doves
shoulder, narrow at the hips, doves
in his heart; but fury in his fists.
At church he experienced God’s love.
By day working hard in a steel mill,
at night working easy at his still;
brewing strong, clear, sweet moonshine,
and most mountain folks drank their fill.
Then old Uncle Sam used his damn draft.
When he got his greetings he just laughed.
Fuck ‘em he roared, grabbing his rifle--
rejecting a war he thought was daft.
But they ran him raw, right to ground.
He broke arms, and faces he did pound.
As they put him in prison, he hated the sound
of steel doors slamming; caged like a hound.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub
20 comments:
Nice rubaiyat ballad of Omar Jones. I am glad to hear he survived all of that although in prison.
What fun to use the form to pull out such a character in your poem... especially when you went from mill to still and I saw his true character... :-)
I like how you described him as big man, with doves in his heart and fury in his fists. Sad that he ended up with broken arms, in prison and caged like a hound.
A tale well told. Makes me think of Robert Service
It's a painful thing to witness, a man truly free, confined to a cage for being so. How much more so for the man confined.
Quite a story you tell in this poem.
I enjoyed the contrasts in your Rubaiyat, Glenn: wide/narrow, does/fury, hard/easy, emphasising human dichotomy. A tragic story.
This is another piece that should be put to music. A raging, driving beat would suit it, I think. I like the way you take the form and totally Americanise it, I am awestruck by your enjambment, and your daring rhymes. And it's a great story.
I like how you took this form in a surprising and unforgettable direction. I am impressed with your creativity.
Bad, bad Leroy Brown,
badest man in the whole damn town.
Fun enjambment
Left wondering if pure fiction -- either way, good fiction
I loved this Glenn! You always write great kickass action and attitude into your work. Really dig that about your compositional vision! BTW - Thank you for your wonderful comments on my "dark" Frost inspired rubaiyat love poem. I got inspired and wrote a second Frost inspired rubaiyat love poem for this post - this one is filled with light.
You unwind a great tale her Rob. Every stanza flows into the next and though the ending is sad the poem is great!
This made me think of a relative of my husband's who was a rum-runner during the Prohibition. Creative piece applied to this form.
A portrait poem created within the form. And what a portrait! A gentle heart but strong fists. I get the feeling he loved the freedom of the out-of-doors as well as not being told by government what to do. Surely a crushing blow to land in a prison's cage. A sense of finality in that closing door at the end of the poem. Sad.
absolutely adored this! a character out of a movie, reminds me of Bonanza days!
I hope we'll get to see more of Omar in the future.
This has a cinematic feel to it Glenn..reminds me for some reason of the movie "The Sister Brothers". Well done...JIM
Oh, what a great use of the form! (I won't say subversion, lol.)
You had me at "doves in his heart". Poor soul.
Excellent character portrayal, Glenn. I love this poem!
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