painting by Alexandre Cabanel
I am Fallen
“Falling is just another way to fly.”--Emilie Autumn
Qua nunc sum, but I
am still on my feet, ready
for a new rising.
I caught the Hong Kong Flu
and it knocked me flat
for two difficult weeks.
After I got better,
I still had a
persistent dry cough.
It turned out
to be Adult Onset Asthma,
since I never had it as a child
and was not allergic to anything.
I soldiered on
as to the medical battle
for my immune system
was going off the rails.
Every year thereafter
I amassed new symptoms,
cramping between my shoulders,
cramping in my throat,
dysfunctional taste buds,
deep vein thrombosis,
arthritis in hands, knees, and feet,
chronic leg edema
I was sent to Neurology,
where we spent a year and a half,
ruling out psychosomatic causes
and enduring MRI’s
before I was diagnosed with MFMN,
multi-focal motor neuropathy,
dodging Lupus, MS, and ALS
I had to learn about molecular mimicry, whereby
my unrelenting immune system was attacking my
peripheral nervous system. They put me on a five-
day regiment of IVIG once a month. Initially, the
immunoglobulin cleared off enough antibodies that
I had pockets of remission. But my muscles were
also recipients of poor conductivity, and I could no
longer work out in the gym. I began to have issues
with my balance. They upgraded me to CIDP--chronic
inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy; quite the
I retired in 2010, but 30+ years of shredding my mylon
had taken its toll. I began falling, a lot. Initially, I could
get myself up, but a year ago, after a bad fall, I no
longer could get up--time for 911, Life Alert, EMP’s, a
stair lift, a vertical deck lift and divers handicap bars.
I had to rely on a 4-wheel walker, give up driving, and
shopping. I carry a 500 lb. gorilla on my back, but I’ve
made my peace with it. My New Age friends remind me
that I chose these challenges for myself. So now I keep
my head down, put up with this autoimmune nightmare,
and still do some heavy lifting among my poetic peers.
Posted over at d'Verse Poet's Pub