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Blackthorne
Cinemagenic Seventy-Nine
Prudence
“In our country, we have three unspeakably
precious things--freedom of speech and
conscience, and the prudence never to
practice either of them.”--Mark Twain.
1(overhead crane shot--medium wide) the
confrontation and the crowd. In the
peripheral a freight wagon lumbers past.
2(sound cue) French horn and cello over
hoofbeats and wheel squeaks.
3(two-shot) over Thor’s shoulder--Buck moves
toward him, walking easy; the red and green
shotgun shells on his chest bobbing.
4(medium close-up) Buck: What do you want,
badass, an apology?
5(four-shot) Cash stepped in front of Thor, and
the sheriff stepped in front of Buck. Cash waved
his gloved hands in the air.
6(medium close-up) Cash: Alright, alright! Is this
any way for neighbors to behave?
7(two-shot) Cash, over Thor’s shoulder: Back off,
Thor. Quit fighting your little brother’s battles for
him. I’m sure that, for now, an apology will suffice.
I will even walk over to my place and convey it to
him--although he probably will be hiding under
some whore’s skirt.
8(sound cue) faint saloon piano.
9(medium wide-shot) Buck moved out around the
sheriff, and Thor stepped out from behind Cash.
10(close-up) Buck: Listen, gunhand, this is my
home now, and I really want to settle down here.
As for you, I believe that you won’t live to be as
old as me.
11(jump-cut close up) Thor, taken aback.
12(medium close-up) Buck: Yup, someone will
kill you--but I’d rather it wasn’t me.
13(close-up) Cash, biting his lower lip, sucking
his teeth: Just cool down, both of you.
14(close-up) Buck: So, hey, you can tell that
sweet little tinhorn brother of yours that I am
real sorry I tossed him out of a window. I can
see now that it wasn’t any of my business
that he was pistol-whipping his girlfriend--and
you tell him to enjoy riding that stallion I
caught for him, and to remember all the time
that he is riding it--what good friends the Bucks
and Bronsons are going to be.
15(two-shot) Cash, stepping in front of Thor:
Do you mean that?
16(sound cue) banjo & harmonica.
17(two-shot) over Cash’s shoulder, Buck: Most
of it. Some of this depends on you.
18(two-shot) Cash, over Buck’s shoulder: Hell,
there’s a fair chance we can get along. Some
of that depends on you.
19(medium wide shot) Buck: Right now, in front
of all these good folks...I want you to know that
you can keep using the lake on my property for
your herds. All I ask is that you don’t graze too
long on my land. I’ll need some of that grass for
my own horses.
Cash, smiling and nodding: A damned fine start.
He pulled the glove off his right hand and they
shook on it. Buck turned on his heel, and started
up the street toward the General Store. Hop and
his deputy lowered their scatter guns. Johnny
Eagle stood for a moment, still returning Thor’s
menacing stare, Then he turned and followed Buck.
20(medium close-up) Be seeing you soon, neighbor!
Thor yelled after them.
21(sound cue) branch flute and snare drum.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub OLN
11 comments:
Nice dialogue. With all those fighting words someone is likely to get hurt.
Oh... methinks Thor will have fewer and fewer friends at the end of the day... and for sure he will not be long-lived.. :-)
The creepy brother of his will have to hide as well.
Yeppers. Them's fightin' words. I have a feeling Thor is not long for this world. Nice dialogue.
It seems like a long time since I saw a Western. They used to be such a staple. You certainly capture the atmosphere.
I have to admit, to me it feels more like flash fiction than poetry. I haven't read any other episodes, so I have nothing to hang it on. I guess it challenges my idea of what poetry "is" - which isn't a bad thing, but an interesting one.
I'm intrigued by your choice of names. Each of them seems to have their own mythology trailing behind.
Well I didn't expect that kind of stalemate and shaking of hands in a neighborly way.
Have a good weeekend Glenn!
These elaborate gun fights intrigue me, Glenn. While they take place in the wild west, I can't help but think there isn't something of the present woven in their message.
As I read I surely miss hearing their voices, specially Thor's and find myself smiling at the end. Love this.
That poor girl being pistol whipped. Your lines bring us to dark places, and the central irony- your anti heroes are so consumed by the fulcrums of their small corner, they learn too late, she is everybody’s business. Powerful descent into cruel chaos
hi glenn - reading your poetry is always like watching a movie. nice bit of storytelling here again.
hope life is treating you well my friend
I need to catch up as I haven't had the chance to participate in OLN for awhile. However, without previous readings, I was there. A scene so well painted with dialogue, tone of voice and facial expressions. I can feel the tension between characters and the probable conflicts to erupt. Always intriguing to me when a man has to "peacock" about.
Oh my ---- I always love reading these! This time I could see and hear that freight wagon lumbering by in the background of this scene. A good touch I think that makes it all happening in real-time.
I've come to really enjoy Buck --- and I so appreciate his protective actions, throwing that younger kid out the window for pistol-whipping the girl. But -- seems he's moving on here....hoping the threat for mistreating the gal will still hold! :)
You've just got a way with the western tale here! :)
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