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Blackthorne
Cinemagenic 101
Bushwhackers
“Some fell by laudanum, some by steel, and
death by ambush lurked in every shadow.”
--Samuel Garth .
1(sound cue) coronet and breaking glass.
2(medium close-up) Johnny heard the glass break.
3(cut to second story window in the main house)
a brigand had smashed the window with a rifle.
4(one-shot) The Eagle swung the hot barrel of
his Winchester around just as another shot tore
into the tree; splinters stabbed into his shoulder.
In the same moment Johnny got off two shots
in the direction of the figure in the window.
5(sound cue) saxophone and piano.
6(cut back) to the second story window. The
gunny standing there fell face first, breaking
more of the glass. His body hung like a limp
scarecrow, slashed to ribbons by the glass,
and shot in the head and chest.
7(sound cue) bass drum and banjo.
8(medium wide shot) the barn began to smoke.
The tall red double doors swung open and a dun
mule rushed out, followed by two men, firing as
they ran.
9(overhead crane shot) Johnny firing from behind
the tree, and the two bushwhackers scrambling
across the open space between the barn and the
bunkhouse.
10(medium close-up) Johnny firing three times,
his lever action a blur.
11(two shot) the back-shooters kicking up dust
as they sprinted. One of Johnny’s bullets hit the
slower one in the leg, but both men made it to
safety past the east side of the bunkhouse.
12(wide shot) the barn began to burn
13( voice over) Rojo chinche assholes!
14(sound cue) guitar and French horn over
horses screaming.
15(tighten wide shot) flames begin to lick
around the doors.
16(voice over continues) They burn the fucking
barn--Bob and Red are still in there! Damn it,
Buck, where are you? Bronson has sent half of
his men, and they burn our horses!
17(sound cue) horses screaming and kicking
their stalls.
18(cut back to the main house) black smoke was
billowing out the window, over the head of the
dead wrangler.
19(sound cue) horses galloping over blues guitar.
20( medium close-up ) Johnny whirled around,
looking behind him.
21(overhead drone traveling shot) Rod Buck was
racing down the west road, slapping leather, alone
in the carriage. Cheewa was running alongside.
Johnny’s heart rose to his throat, and his wounds
did not hurt any more.
22(medium wide shot) the black carriage came in
with its red wheels spinning, Firing from under the
porch, the wood shed and the bunkhouse tore holes
in the rig’s canvas cover. Thirty yards from Johnny
the sniper under the porch dropped one of the
palominos in its traces. The horse went down,
tripping his companion beside him, jerking it off
balance, and it went down too. Buck jumped from
the carriage as it snapped its leathers and flipped
over onto its side.
23(tight one shot) Buck landed on his feet, going
into a shoulder roll to break his fall. As he rolled,
two shots puffed up in the dirt where he had just
been. He fired his sawed off at the man under the
front porch. A four foot section of thatch burst into
splinters. At the same time the Thunderer barked
in his right hand, spraying lead across the front
of the bunkhouse. He rolled to safety behind the
overturned carriage. One of the horses had got
to its knees, and it was complaining loudly. The
firing ceased.
24(sound cue) violin, banjo and harmonica.
25( tight one-shot) Buck lie flat against the ground.
He peeked at the wood shed and bunkhouse
through the wagon spokes. The barn was fully
aflame. The main house belched smoke from
its second floor. Flames appeared from the north
side of the house.
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub OLN
13 comments:
Hi Glenn:
Will read in a bit....but when I clicked on Mr Linky to get to this...it went to a page that said, oops could not be found or something like that. I got to your actual page because I frequent there....but others might not find this.
Can you please relink to Mr Linky? Once I see that, and the second link works, I'll delete the faulty link.
And that’s why you’re such a gifted screenwriter!
I followed this action and even ducked few times as bullets whizzed passed my head!!
Woah, cowboy, that was fast and furious. Enjoyed the detailing here.
Oh my goodness....and I thought dialogue was your real gift. The description here, scene setting, guns blazing, barn aflame, horses screaming.....incredible. I found myself reading faster and faster...a scene of smoke and carnage in the old west.
One note: I grew up on the Lone Ranger, Gene Autry, Roy Rogers - playing cowboys and Indians --- and this writing reminds me what I hated as a young girl in those kinds of shows, and would always turn my head or leave the tv and go into the kitchen for a pb&j sandwich or a glass of milk to get away from it....I always hated the scenes where the horses were "pulled up" by the rider and reared up and then fell...or when they came charging out of a burning barn etc....becuase I figured, everything else in the show might be fake, but those animals in those situations were real. And boy did you make them real here, Glenn! Wow!
I'm enraged by the attack and by the harm to the innocent horses, not to mention the property. Those f*ckers need to pay for this. I hope Buck and Johnny don't bother with any conversation when they go after them. Bullets to the brain is better than they deserve. This chapter seemed too short!
What a way to start this episode, Glenn, with coronet and breaking glass! Lots of action, too, and description: ‘His body hung like a limp scarecrow, slashed to ribbons by the glass, and shot in the head and chest’. I feel sorry for the dun mule, and the screaming horses and that poor palomino! What will they do now?
This is so chilling... the way they just attack his farm... it seems like they could defend themselves... but what will remain but ashes?
Dem some blazing crossfire. You trangulate the mayhem with a pitch perfect assembly of camera angles. Sorry for the horses.
Once, I heard the broken glass I knew trouble was about. I am sure payback time will come for all this chaos. I could see the house and barn burning and hear the horses.
You have a way of pulling the reader in quickly and keeping them engaged in the story line.
Bravo...
It's been awhile since I've read one of your scripts, Glenn, and I find the same exciting, explicit and gory scenes being played out in great detail by you. Like Lill, it takes me back to all the cowboy shows I used to love as a kid but of course you never saw any bloodshed or gore...it was all just left to our imaginations as to how those bad guys met their ends.
Wonderful, you have reminded me how poetic storyboarding can be. Perhaps not ballad like but plenty of action and vivid images.
Hey Glenn — Hi poet!. Wanted to let you know I am “temporarily” sightless in my right eye from a retinal disease. It is a struggle fir me to write, but I will still wrote my pieces, going very slowly. Reading at any length is extremely difficult, and causes painful headache — so wanted to say thanks for contributing to OLN. But I won’t be able to read what you wrote, yet I wanted to visit. I spent a little time writing this best I could with one eye, i copied it, and I am pasting it in here to say hi. Got an operation coming up in about a week when the infection is down. Hopefully things will get back to normal.thanks, Rob
My goodness this is so intense!! I could feel the bullets whizzing past the air and am glad that Buck survived in the end. My heart is still pounding from the excitement!
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