Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Lunatic Fringe




image from metalarchive.com


Lunatic Fringe

“The people who are crazy enough to believe they
can change the world, are the ones that do.”
--Rob Siltanen.

I am aware
that madness
can be a demon
that devours and scars
the victimized Self;
and it chews slowly
so that you can appreciate
its sharp yellow teeth.

I wear my anger
like a hair shirt.
Some days
everything and everybody
makes me mad.
I am capable
of leaping into rages
that are terrifying,
even for me.

I was in the Service
during Viet Nam.
I was careful
to keep myself out
of the combat zone,
because I feared
if I got used to
killing people, 
a real madness
would envelop me,
then I’d get a taste for it,
would enjoy the killing;
madness would ride me
like a lethal leech,
and I would never
shake it off.
I would be its bitch.


My own father,
returning from combat
during WWII,
never got over
his severe PTSD.

I prefer embracing
the flip side of madness,
what Kazantzakis gave to Zorba:
We all need a little madness,
otherwise we can’t cut the rope
and be free--
what Robin Williams gave to comedy:
You’re only given
a little spark of madness.
You mustn’t lose it.

I have often wondered
if the truly mad
are aware of their madness?
They say that 75% of us
could use some mental health 
counseling. I don’t know.
It all sounds Dinky Dau to me,
some #10 prime bullshit,
as Charlie used to say.



Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub

9 comments:

Laura Bloomsbury said...

Love the narrative here - almost stream of consciousness and in amongst it all that most telling of lines:
"I wear my anger
like a hair shirt."

thank you for joining in the madness - don't lose it!

Victoria Stuart said...

My absolute favorite line is: It all sounds Dinky Dau to me,
some #10 prime bullshit,
as Charlie used to say.

Excellent piece.

Dwight L. Roth said...

You tell madness very well. Your wisdom in Viet Nam was a good choice. We see the results of those who got a taste for killing. I think your estimate of those who could benefit from mental health counseling is probably low!!

Jade Li said...

Madness is as madness does and madness is a fickle beast.

Kim M. Russell said...

Great title and quote, Glenn! I can imagine madness as a demon with sharp yellow teeth - or perhaps a rodent? The anger like a hair shirt is familiar, and I think that getting used to killing people is a real madness – ‘lethal leech’ stands out with its double dose of alliteration and assonance, a fitting name for PTSD. Thank you for the flip from depressing to happy madness, it was much needed.

brudberg said...

The influence of war and madness is so true (maybe war itself is the ultimate madness)... the lethal leech is an excellent description what killing does to you.

This:

"I have often wondered
if the truly mad
are aware of their madness?"

reminds me so much of Joseph Heller and "Catch 22"

robkistner said...

Each of us likely lives on the lunatic fringe in someone’s eyes — it just depends on who is making the judgement. I know I am batshit bonkers, and how to conceal it — that makes me able to “pass” in “polite” society. Careful with that hair-shirt brother... :-)

purplepeninportland.com said...

It comes down to how you see yourself. How others see you is pure speculation.

lynn__ said...

A spark of "madness" or hairy anger helps keep one sane. Unfortunately, many people with real mental illness cannot recognize their condition.