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Death Song
“I don’t know why Batty saved my life. Maybe in
those last moments he loved life more than he
ever had before. Not just his life--anybody’s life;
my life. All he wanted was the same that all of
us want. Where did I come from? Where am I
going? How long do I have? All I could do was
sit there and watch him die.”--Rick Deckard,
BLADE RUNNER.
I once faced death
without warning,
and experienced an
out-of-body scenario.
I recognized
My Higher Self
as a translucent entity,
standing in front of me
as I held it by the wrists.
Somehow I sensed
it was on the brink of departure.
It seemed to be struggling
with a decision; should it
return to my meat shroud
or abandon me, leaving
a soulless empty vessel.
As a reflex, I clung to
homeostasis, and pulled back
on the spiritual figure,
jerked it back to within me,
or it rejoined of its own accord
and the cosmic euphoria
of that significant re-morphing
convinced me that I actually
had something to do with it.
In that metaphysical nanosecond
I understood another jagged piece
of my existence puzzle.
As Batty sat on that roof
in the rain, reciting his death song,
after a small pause, he said,
Time to die.
This is a moment
we all shall share,
human and android alike,
the gateway, the veil,
the crossroads,
the shining time of transition.
Whatever we shall discover
on that journey, can not be
shared with those we left behind,
or those who shall come after us;
more’s the pity.
Remember what Tyrell said to Batty:
The light that burns twice as bright,
burns only half as long.
Will we ever really know if
androids dream of electric sheep?
When we get around to creating replicants,
and they become sentient,
will they develop a digital soul,
some holographic spark of divinity?
When we play God,
what will it cost us?
Glenn Buttkus
Posted over at dVerse Poets Pub
13 comments:
I love especially the end, the philosophy of androids... and how would we react to a compassionate creation?
Not knowing what's beyond but seeing one's Higher Self has got to be reassuring to you? At least you know there is "something." Besides knowing what it was and how it looked do you remember anything else about it? Was a part of your sentience leaving with it, or was there a feeling it was whole in and of itself?
Those questions are classic areas of exploration for sci-fi, I enjoyed your articulation of them. I liked the linking of your own experience with the movie, and I loved some of the images you threw out so casually - that meat shroud particularly.
My kids both did "Frankenstein" as part of a wider project in their first year at secondary school. There's something in that story that resonates with Roy Batty's fate as well - the creation that wants to hold his creator to account.
I like your descriptive phrase, "meat shroud".
Lisa, the incident happened in an instant. I slow it down with recall. I believe there are people out here whose soul has abandoned, given up on them...psychopaths, dictators, killers, rapists and such. I just did not want to join their ranks.
I can imagine time seeming to almost stand still at this moment. I can remember going down the road on my side, head-first, as I watched my motorcycle sliding next to me. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion - so slow that it seemed like I could reach out, take the handlebars and right it. Needless to say, at 50 mph I didn't ride away, or even walk away, but I was very lucky. I was a lot closer to nothingness than I realized at the time.
Glenn, that helps, thank you. OK, now I think I see where you're coming from on this. It almost feels like a guardian angel of sorts. I'm so glad you clung to it!
after a small pause, he said,
Time to die.
I would like to think we all have this choice! Not all take it!
This poem is quite dark, Glenn, not your usual tongue-in-cheek, and took me to that metaphorical roof so clearly – I’ve been there. I love the way you describe an out-of-body experience as:
‘I recognized
My Higher Self
as a translucent entity,
standing in front of me
as I held it by the wrists’
and the lines:
‘This is a moment
we all shall share,
human and android alike,
the gateway, the veil,
the crossroads,
the shining time of transition.’
I agree with Sarah about the creation that wants to hold his creator to account.
You really brought the final scene of Bladerunner alive here - the experience they shared but of course both were replicants pondering their end and the existential awakening is brilliantly told in your words here:
" pulled back
on the spiritual figure,
jerked it back to within me,
or it rejoined of its own accord
and the cosmic euphoria
of that significant re-morphing
convinced me that I actually
had something to do with it. "
wow
"a translucent entity,
standing in front of me
as I held it by the wrists."
I'd call out other marvelous phrases in this marvelous poem, but then I'd just have to copy and paste the whole poem.
This is a dark and powerful poem, Glenn...one of your best, I think.
Life and death, the eternal questions. The only ones, really. (K)
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