Martius Maximus

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Martius Maximus

“This Donald Trump phenomenon is very curious. 

If there were someone watching us from Mars, they

would think America has gone insane.”

--Noam Chomsky.

Martians go home, said the Yankees, tired of the 

abuse themselves. I can’t remember, does a Mars

candy bar have nuts in it? If so it’s a rip off of

a Snickers bar. After taking tens of thousands of

pictures on Mars, we know its mountains are just

the rocky lips of craters. Much of its surface appears

desert-like, but it’s all covered in iron oxide, so on

a clear night this dwarf star twinkles red like a

ruby ring at 1,000 yards in bright moonlight. The 

surface of Mars has deserts that are so old, the

sand has morphed to rust. 

The Romans were a little less daffy than the Aztecs

relative to their calendar, but making March the first

month of the year did not catch on. It made the 

seasons so confused, Spring refused to start until

June, and Fall didn’t happen until November.

Christmas turned into Halloween, and All Hallows

Eve turned into the first night of the Purge. 

Not a lot of people realize that the Nazis made it

to the Moon in 1944, and they took Hitler with them.

He never went to Argentina, rather, though it seems

incredulous, he went to the dark side and felt at home

immediately. All was well for a time. They built their

hidden base underground. Hitler was 80 when we

landed on the moon. When he saw the American flag,

he became so upset, he stroked out and died. The

Nazis had improved their technology to the point that

by 1967, they were making shuttle trips to Mars. So,

they blew up the Moon station, and relocated to Mars.

They’ve had 50 years to settle in. When we finally set

boot on Mars, imagine our disappointment when SS

storm troopers greet us with the Nazi salute.

The Nazis on Mars have

made March the first month on the

Martian calendar.

Glenn Buttkus

Posted over at d'Verse Poets Pub