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A Real Dick
“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality
to go insane.”--Philip Kindred Dick.
Me: Ladies and Gents, today’s guest is author
Philip K. Dick.
Dick: Deceased author, don’t leave that out.
Me: How would you like for me to address you?
Dick: Address me, undress me, who gives a shit?
How about a Fucking Ambulance--that would be cool.
Me: How about Phil?
Dick: Yeah, sure, that or PK, or Big K, or the Dick, or
Cosmic Dick. When I was 21 I used pen names like
Richard Phillipps or Jack Dawson.
Me: Looking back on your life, do you have any regrets?
Dick: Sure, 53 years of them. When I died in 1982 of
multiple strokes, I’d already been married five times.
Me: I think Ernest Borgnine was married eight times.
Dick: Fuck Ernie, I was stoned for most of my life.
Me: Did this influence your work.
Dick: You know what they say, You can’t be a proper
writer without a touch of madness, can you?” Yeah,
I struggled with mental problems all of my days.
Me: Was this ever diagnosed?
Dick: I was told that I was crazier than a toothless blind
three-legged dog with blue balls and a useless boner.
Me: Robin Williams used to talk about that.
Dick: I loved him, but in the end he was a coward;
couldn’t hack the pain.
Me: Come on, you attempted suicide several times.
Dick: I never said I was a hero. I talked tough, but
I wore lace panties.
Me: I think your unique perspective made you a more
insightful and prophetic writer.
Dick: Fucking A.
Me: How do you feel about the Hollywood adaptations
of your work?
Dick: I died before BLADERUNNER came out, so I
never got to cash in on my new popularity.
Me: They filmed TOTAL RECALL (twice), THE MAN IN
THE HIGH CASTLE, MINORITY REPORT, THE
ADJUSTMENT BUREAU, and A SCANNER DARKLY.
Dick: Ain’t this a bitch? I was broke all my life. Writing
science-fiction for Ace hardly pays the rent. I was
never mainstream. I had to use my wives as patrons.
Me: I have always placed you high up in the
lexicon of Sci-Fi authors.
Dick: Fuck you, guys like Bradbury, Heinlein,
and Assimov made money. My dozens of
novels are considered pulp fiction.
Me: Uh-huh, it’s like poetry--you can be a great
poet but the pay is still shitty.
Dick: I wrote some poetry.
Me: Really, I’ve never read any.
Dick: That’s because I burned it. Robert Heinlein
was a mensch--he saved my ass several times.
Me: How did he do that?
Dick: He just called me up out of the blue, praising
my work. He was a real friend. He loaned me
money a couple of times. He was the best of us,
even though he was a Republican.
Me: I really dug the metaphysics in your EXEGESIS
series.
Dick: Yeah, me too--even though it was some flipped-
out shit.
Me: Well, thank you, Phil...this is all we have time for
today.
Dick: Wait a minute--this was it?
Me: Yes.
Dick: Christ Almighty, you are the real dick here.
Me: Probably.
Glenn Buttkus
The quote was from the film, QUILLS.
Posted over at d'Verse Poet's Pub
12 comments:
This is excellent Glenn. Damned engaging, and for me, interesting as hell because your interviewee was Dick. I used a 2nd quote in my piece today, gleaned from Roy Batty’s death scene in Blade Runner — based, as I am sure you know, on Dick’s book, “Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep”. Well shit dude, looks like our minds were runnin’ on the same track today. We seem to have an occasional cross wiring.
Satirical, engaging and understatedly hilarious! I enjoyed this Glenn.
I knew you'd have fun with this one, Glenn. Just love how you used the interview as a vessel to share the history and personality of this writer. It was intriguing to read the responses of a deceased person being interviewed!
This was engaging and made me laugh at the (slight) irreverence of it all! 😆 I like that he had to use his wives as patrons. Poor fellow!
This left me thinking of authors who would make perfect candidates for after-life interviews,
though I doubt any could be more colorful that this!
Another good interview. I think he enjoyed more than he let on.
You forgot to ask him about the electric sheep... but the interview was very enjoyabe.
A very unique take on the prompt Glenn. You really brought him back to life!
You did an *excellent* job of channeling "Phil" Thank you for sharing the conversation transcript with us readers. I loved the work that was adapted to the screen but for some unknown reason never read any of his books. OTOH I've read several by Heinlein and Asimov. Maybe it's time.
This is gorgeously rendered, Glenn! I love the idea of interviewing a deceased person and getting to know their views. Kudos!💝💝
Awesome. An outstanding way to respond to the prompt. I have loved his writing, but now realise I know nothing about the man. Time to follow up.
Excellent job, Glenn. Probably wasn't a good person to interview. I keep a book of his short stories on my night table, "We can Remember It For You Wholesale."
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