Thursday, June 24, 2010

Governor's Smack Down

California: The Governor of California is jogging with his
dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the
Governor and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects
upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should
stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures
coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases
and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead
dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500
getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on
getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while
Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure
the area is free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds
implementing a "coyote awareness" program for
residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study
how to better treat rabies and how to permanently
eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not
stopping the attack somehow and for letting the
Governor attempt to intervene.

9. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000
to hire and train a new security agent with additional
special training re: the nature of coyotes.

10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit
against the State.

Arizona: The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her
dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and
attacks her dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-
issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has
spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that's why California is broke.

***Sent Anonymously from the web.


Lane Savant said...

Dear Mr. Buttkus. We've taken a look at the conditions of your retirement fund and decided to fire you two hours before your retirement.
We greatly appreciate all you have done for us all these years but our budget is strained right at the moment due to the bonuses for our board of directors which, due to rigid contract conditions must be applied.
Once again, thank you from all of us and if you need any help finding another job...We're sure there are many employment agencies listed in the phone book.

Blue Bunny said...

happeee retiremints!


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